It has been said that most of what annoys you comes from ego. Another way of saying this is to say that irritation and its big brother, anger, come from a need you have to control.
By no means do I take away from you how it seems that your negative feelings are based on something outside you. It well may be. Certainly, you don’t ask for any semblance of negativity. It certainly seems to come uninvited. So, yes, I will give you that you would much rather have equanimity even in a world of irritating people and situations. I know you are a good guy. I know without doubt that you are on the side of good. Of course, I know, and you know, and everyone who knows you knows.
And yet, every now and then, something upsets you.
Now, this issue of wanting to control, or needing control, where does that come from? Where would it come from? Where would it come from through you when, in life, you very well have had to take your fingers, one by one, off control? That’s the point.
Because control seems to have been wrested from you, about the only control you feel you have is to be annoyed. Lots of things don’t go on in life as you desire.
So now you consider your ability to control as non-existent. You are obliged to follow this rule or that rule, this law or that law. You have to earn a living, and you may have a partner who rules you. No wonder you long for control of something, even when it is a question of something not important at all.
If you felt that you have more say in your life, you wouldn’t yearn to have control so much. You really want self-direction and the freedom it offers.
Begin self-directedness with your thoughts, beloved. This is a good place to begin. Someone can take away your freedom of action, even your freedom of speech, yet you are King over your thoughts.
Whatsoever words or expressions of manners or actions disturb you, your thoughts are yours and no one can rule your thoughts and, thus, your emotions. Not only are your thoughts where you can begin, this is the only place where you can begin.
You protest that others, the world etc., rule the roost, while you let others’ manner of speech and their ways of thinking make you lose your inner cool, even when you don’t let it show. Oh, yes, others are ruling over you all right. You line yourself right up to dance to their tune all in the name of control.
Whether We call it ego or control, it is short-sighted of you.
You say that something or another bothers you, and you continue to let it bother you, as if you had no choice but to keep its bother. What would happen if you let go of your irritation? What would happen if you got beyond it?
Why would you rage about nose-rings or tattoos or whatever it is that sets you on a tirade?
I begin to think that you like to get steamed up about something, even when it has nothing to do with you! Nobody is making you do anything. The girl with purple hair or whatever it may be that gets your back up, the last I knew no one was making you dye your hair purple or shave it
Let go of trying to control other people. Let go of forced control. You don’t like it. Oh, My, judgment is one fierce control. It is the mother of all controls. Judgment sure is controlling you.
You can stop judging. You really can do it. Sense of annoyance can leave you. You will be fine without it. Free yourself. Let go of the ego and control and judgment right now. Begin happiness.