All Is Well
I think some people believed I was more upset than I am with my description of ‘All Is Well’ yesterday. Rather, it is quite the opposite!
The mantra, ‘All Is Well’ helps sustain me through the daily challenges and distractions from my spirituality in this Life.
I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
I am locked into a body for some reason I don’t understand, but I gather, from the likes of those who monitor me, it is ‘important’.
In some ways, I prefer to think of myself as ‘quality control’ as some kind of ‘Galactic Mystery Shopper’ who is undergoing the life experience incarnate ‘blind’ as one would describe someone who participates in a study on a medical treatment that is designed to keep the people who are IN the test unawares of what is going on.
At least it is not a ‘double blind study’ where my guides are blinded too!
I am experiencing great change in both my energy and my stamina–for the better.
The night before last I only got four hours sleep, as my son took a while to calm down after his tournament game and soak in the tub and eat a snack and get to bed.
Ordinarily I would have been extremely tired to go through my first call.
I wasn’t. I did eleven cases and got home after midnight. I was fresh to drive, took a shower, and only got sleepy once my head hit the pillow.
I didn’t really ‘eat’ either. I nibbled all day, having breakfast before work, and making my packed lunch ‘last’ enough to be my breakfast and dinner.
I was also in three extremely stressful cases where things were not going well and the surgeon was having great difficulty, and the cases were slow, putting the patient–who is not always the healthiest in what I have to do to assist them–at risk. I walk on eggs during some cases, I literally watch every move so as to keep the patient alive and the surgeon not blowing up but rather FOCUSED on the enormous task at hand for them.
All of that went well too.
If this is ‘the new’ I fully enjoy it.
The Best Anesthesiologist I’ve Ever Had–And I’ve Had Some AWFUL Ones!
A patient who had very low blood sugar in pre-op needed to have iv dextrose. Our dispenser didn’t have it, so I walked to the recovery room and brought it to the bedside.
It comes in a huge syringe, and takes some time to dispense.
I explained that anesthesia masks the symptoms of hypoglycemia (think Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias) so my preference is to keep it a little ‘too high’ than ‘too low’…as I slowly administered the dextrose into the i.v.
Then, we talked. My patient shared some of her friends are just DYING, way too young. That’s why she got her surgery that was lifesaving for her.
I explained that although her friends were young on the outside, their diseases she described to me (one had type one diabetes mellitus) had aged their body parts on the inside by about ten years older than the outside, so medically it is understandable how they would die.
It was time for her procedure, all went well, and in the recovery room, she was filled with LOVE and GRATITUDE! She said, ‘I love you!’ and gave me hugs, and asked if it was okay for her to buy me a present after all this?
I must admit it was very hard for me to let all those good feeling IN.
In medicine we are trained to do the work, and in being able to do this, there is an emotional barrier I have to keep up–mine is very low, but as an empath I need it so I don’t go feeling everything all day as I do the work.
And I got tears in my eyes!
My patient was acknowledging the miracle I did for her, that was the whole reason why I went into anesthesia in the first place–MY gratitude for the anesthesiologist who got me through brain surgery at twenty-five.
I cried because my former patient and colleague–who had booked his gallbladder surgery just for me to be on call when he had it–this giant male nurse who too had been apprehensive about his surgical experience and filled with gratitude was watching the two of us, anesthesiologist and patient, having this exchange, from the other side of the gurney.
He is the one who was so moved he bought me not one or two but THREE tickets to see Phantom of the Opera to say ‘thank you’…and I could tell it meant so much for him too to hear someone verbalize these words of love and gratitude for my role in their medical care.
I had asked on the way to work that morning, I want to HELP people today, with my work…(something more than just ‘passing anesthesia gas or propofol’)…and when I heard my patient say, ‘YOU HELPED ME SO MUCH!’ and ‘you are the one person who has been the nicest and kindest to me in my whole life!’…I sensed the angels had prepared it.
And I think it is only a taste of what is to come, as we move forward with Ascension of Surface Gaia.
The Spin Doctor
After working a twenty-four hour shift, I am scheduled to go BACK to the hospital at noon for one case.
To be honest, it will pay for my tank of gasoline, and that’s about it. It will be a wash on the gas I spent to get there.
But I am not upset.
Because I have my own Spin Doctor! ME!:
- I can write my post anesthesia note within twenty four hours on my patient.
- I didn’t cancel the babysitter so it’s cool.
- At least I can sleep in, and enjoy my own morning.
- It’s money, right?
- I get to see my friends and colleagues at work.
- At least it’s not during hours of high traffic and I will have a better commute
- I can EAT LUNCH before I do my case, and my probability of having breakfast, lunch AND dinner at normal times is a huge PLUS!