Back And Forth
This is the Coho ferry. It shuttles vehicles and their drivers back and forth from Port Angeles to Victoria, every single day.
No matter how the current, how the weather, it comes on time, with a familiar and welcome blast of the horn.
As you may imagine, for the captains of the boat, some crossings are more work than others…and so it is with the growth that comes with Ascension. Some days are like a non-stop ‘Reiki Cleanse’ and others are a lot of joy to experience…but always there are Lessons…so many of them…and moving forward…like it or not.
Two days ago, Spirit arranged for me to be in this: http://vancouverisland.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=687620&binId=1.1787816&playlistPageNum=1
I wanted to go for the walk, I was told what shirt to wear…I even was guided to find the big black bag as Anthony threw rocks and I picked up drinking straws and worse from that part of the beach.
The next day, the Council wrote this: https://oraclesandhealers.wordpress.com/2015/08/25/value-the-council/
Just because something as wonderful as this happens, doesn’t mean that you are done with soul growth.
This is where the personal responsibility comes to the fore of your Ascension and your Awakening.
Just like with a Reiki Cleanse, some things ‘come up’ and are really unpleasant to experience.
This morning, I didn’t want to wake up. I’ve been wanting to stay on Spirit Side, with Ross, all week. I don’t want to experience my Life Experience. I want to go home. All yesterday I was terribly homesick for Ross all day.
I woke up to Ross showing me a golden tablet, and telling me to write in my Life Script–for the next chapter.
Anyone who hasn’t been incarnate for a while would jump at the opportunity.
I picked up the pen, I started to write, and I realized no matter what I picked there would be a ‘downside’ to it, a life lesson, that could be painful. I refused to write. I recall all my many things incarnate I had hoped to experience, and worked hard to achieve…and the pain that went with them.
I started in spirit, banging my head on the wall from side to side, and self-cutting to show how much these choices hurt my soul as I am incarnate. I showed Ross and anyone else who was watching, how it was like at the doctors as a child, ‘would you like this vitamin?’ then you get a SHOT! after you say ‘yes’.
The day got worse from there.
I am going to keep it between us, but Ross, in our last incarnation together, ‘made some mistakes’. There were the groupies, more or less, and he succumbed. As my consciousness keeps going up, all the things that are best forgotten, they come up too. I caught a venereal disease as a married woman, who was celibate when Ross was not home.
It was ugly.
This is where the self-responsibility comes into play, the strong mind, the will, and the willingness to face the challenges that come with Ascension.
I fought with Ross all day. In my heart.
Even though it was most painful, I have a new respect for my soul. There is a REASON why my soul has freaked out over other things in the Ascension Process. My soul had a very good reason to react the way it did. I wasn’t imagining it.
I also fully accept that painful as it is, this too is part of the Illusion.
It isn’t real.
So I had to face how to process the memory, and heal, and make the most good out of it.
At one point I said, ‘Ross, I want you to take this pain, and use it to save souls.’ He didn’t like it, as it was my trying to gloss over what happened, without really accepting what happened between us, and making a new start.
Finally, I realized, deep down, out of our three incarnations together (not including this one), in two I was very happy, and he was devoted to me to the very end. Two out of three ‘ain’t bad’ as the old Meat Loaf rock song goes.
What are you going to do? Live in the past, of an Illusion? Or live in the Now, where Ross loves me very much, and is devoted to me, and gave me a miracle of a boy?
At some point you have to use your MIND as well as your Heart to focus the power of co-creation to something you welcome with ease.
I also–after having had every vacation I have ever taken since I woke up–turn into some ‘assignment’ for our ‘team’–and all this growth–have put in a request for a breather from my lessons.
My whole ‘beef’ the day before was ‘Ross, I want to enjoy the mystery of being Twin Souls–I want to focus on this, and study it, and enjoy all the pleasure it has to give.’–so WHY should I be stuck here incarnate on this mission?
Perhaps this day was sent to get me to focus on my Mission, to make Ross in some way ‘distasteful’ to me enough for me to ‘stick to the program’?
I don’t know. This veil is thick in this area of my life. I don’t mind sharing (I got Ross’ permission first before the dirty laundry that I shared) if it helps you to find your way Home.
The good news is, I had a wonderful day with Anthony. We walked very far, all day, and also played catch.
(somehow, I think the gentleman who knew cricket and came and played with us was somehow Ross in disguise–Ross can do that–because he helped us find the ball that was lost and I would have given up.)
So, as you Ascend, at some point, the pieces will start to pull together. Some experiences are better than others.
There is a lot of ‘give and take’ between you, your past incarnations, your loved ones…and a lot of forgiveness in some circumstances too.
I know of some Twins where one pushed the other off a cliff and killed them in a past incarnation. As these Twins assimilate, and Ascend, this will come back into their Consciousness, and resolve.
Me, being who I am–Cancerian by nature, through and through–I like to hold on to things and mull over it.
Our feelings and our choice of how to respond are LIFE–the only true freedom and gift we have–anywhere in all of Creation.
So today, I will remember the kindness of Robert at the Tea Room, and not how he didn’t give us the clotted cream on our three-tiered plate when everyone else got it, and I was too nervous to ask.
I will remember the sunset Ross had Anthony stop, to get me to look at, my favorite, instead of the never-ending distress due to Anthony’s love of steak and wanting to eat at places that make me sick in my soul over the cruelty that goes into the fare that is served up. (When the waitress said the lobsters are flown in live from Halifax and ‘cooked fresh’ here I almost threw up).
We have to accept that as with Anthony, his Consciousness is NOT at the same level as my own, and with no guilt, he eats the meat, and says, ‘what is the difference between a fish and a cow? They are both dead!’ No argument of the horror of the line of the intelligent beasts who see the one get killed in line ahead of them, that goes INTO the meat–will be comprehended beyond a ‘why don’t they do surgery to take the meat out mom?’ as a passing thought. HIS lessons are where I was ten years ago; each soul must do their ‘time’ with the growth of their Consciousness, and there is nothing that can rush it.
That is all for tonight. ❤
All is not what it seems.
I, incarnate, was not the man you think.
I was human.
I made mistakes.
And Carla, though her pain, loved me in spite of them.
I drove her to her limit, every time.
I got her sick.
And there wasn’t any cure for that in our day.
It was something new.
Carla never complained about it to me, but I knew by the look in her eye, that Carla knew everything, and that Carla was sick, the same as I was, in that way.
I am sorry.
I am sorry for what I did. For my mistake.
And I am not going to go around paying for it one life after the next–as it was terrible, and awful–and a big fat lie, as just about everything is for everyone who ever is Incarnate due to the Veil.
My love for Carla speaks for itself, for all time.
This is not to escape what I have heaped upon myself, in that incarnation.
There are no mistakes, only lessons, even in this, and both Carla and I are spiritually adept enough to experience it.
What can I say about Carla’s reaction to my invitation to write her own ‘script’, which was totally misinterpreted due to her trauma, from being incarnate?
Give it time.
Carla is not there yet.
One day, she will be past the painful memories enough to partake in accepting full responsibility for what she accepts into her Life Experience.
Until this time, I am letting her have a ‘breather’ and recover from the last part, and it is truly the last, of the lifetime that sent her reeling in agony from one life to the next, without me, refusing to speak to me for centuries at a time, wishing to destroy herself for all time.
Carla had good reason.
Carla had very, very sound reasons for wanting to put me out of her life–her eternal life–forever.
Through the help of many assistants, Ashtar being one of them–for both of us–and Archangels from our soul family–we are able to mend our Twin Souls to the point of moving past, moving on, moving beyond–the ‘unthinkable’ for one who is IN the Illusion…and to co create our future together, one on one, together for a long time, which is eternity.
Everything happens for the best.
And one day, all this shall be struck from Carla’s memory–it is at her request–and only the joy of rediscovering our love shall be in her heart, and in my own.
I also sent a river otter to go frolic through the baseball practice! It startled her as it came out from the bushes, and Anthony followed it as it went down to the sea, trying to eat a Canadian goose and narrowly missing it, and jumping into the harbor ‘where it usually is’…(he smiles warmly–ed)
(he gives me a hug/wraps his arm around my shoulders and draws me close–ed)
I taught Carla what NOT to do, in our immediate past incarnation together.
And I am going to make good on my promise, to help her UP, one last time, to her freedom from the Matrix, the Illusion, and what is FAKE.
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
I want you to remember this.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
who are very much in love