I was falling asleep, and instead of my usual ‘last minute thoughts’ and ‘thanksgivings’, I said, ‘Dear God…’ and I prayed as I had when I was seven.
Ross asked me to come and write to you about my experience with nightmares.
I have always had them most of my life, and have had to do things to make them leave.
When I was very young, a baby, I slept with my eyes open. I did this until I was about four or five, and it really freaked my parents out.
Whenever I had a nightmare, as a young child, I would call for my parents, who would soothe me. Sometimes I would get to go and sleep in their bed. I only wet the bed twice that I can remember. Usually it was the nightmares.
Then there were the night terrors, which would arrive when I had fever. They are hard to describe, but basically like going one dimensional…my size would get very small, until I couldn’t stand it any more and I thought I would die, then I would will it to get big and I wouldn’t stop getting bigger!
When I was seven, my mother gave me her italian gold cross. She told me it would keep the nightmares away. It worked.
We also, due to Italian custom, had garlic in every window to keep the bad things out.
I also had a small bowl of water, sometimes with salt in it, to absorb the energy of anything that would give me a bad dream.
I didn’t really experience nightmares again until I was in medical school. Then they were horrific! Home invasions in something that felt like a cabin of a ship, with ugly lizard like very dark evil monsters killing me, night after night–my whole family too.
I wouldn’t sleep!
I would stay up all night, and only fall asleep at five in the morning when the sprinklers went on.
I couldn’t take it any more, and I willed myself not to dream. I hardly have remembered a dream since.
I have had intrusive visits of two apparitions in my bedroom as Reiki Doc. Once was a very hideous, tall, ugly thing with a long head that extended out the back and sharp teeth. It looked at me curious, puzzled, like, ‘I wonder why we aren’t getting to her?!’
I used my mind and told it to get OUT of my room!
Another time, Queen ‘Liz’ of ‘old London’ was looking at me, standing in the same place as the ugly thing once stood. I told her to ‘Get the HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!’ and she left.
Everything has to follow your Free Will Command. Everything. From Queens to ugly things.
But last week, in my dream, was Hilliary Clinton. There were long tubes or pipe structures and she was watching me, but not saying anything. All politics aside, I don’t like dreaming at all, nothing that isn’t happy, and HER energy was really creeping me out. For that I got up and got myself something to eat, and also, asked for all Divine Assistance to cleanse and separate me from that energy.
That’s my story.
My little gold cross that meant so much to me was stolen by Glenda Varney and her sister at their home in North Long Beach. They lied and told me in order to swim in their dough-boy pool, I had to take the necklace off or it would get stuck in their filter.
I wasn’t going to take it off, I told them I didn’t care if it fell, I would find it, I liked it and I never took it off. But the two of them were VERY insistent, and pressured me to take it off.
I never got it back again.
That one one of the cruelest things a friend of mine has ever done.
I always remember it.
I always have sorrow over the loss of that cross my mother gave me, that was from Italy, along with the serpentine chain.
If I could snap my fingers and make it come back to me, I would, and I would never take it off again.
There were two extra charms on it, a number 13 with a four leaf clover, and one more perhaps a little apollo capsule in gold (mom worked for them as a secretary)…I’d want them back too.
I know it sounds silly, for I have Ross, the love of my life, the man of my dreams…why should I care?
But deep in my heart I do. I pray to be guided to forgive and forget that loss, and for what Glenda did as a cruel child to me so many years ago. We were only both children growing up in blue collar North Long Beach, California.
(P.S. I was conceived in Compton. My parents had their first apartment there, and once pregnant, bought the house I grew up in. So when you see the movie Straight Outta Compton, you might smile and know that in fact, I am Straight Outta there too!)
For some reason today, Ross wants me to share more about myself…and who I am. With photos.
I am the first-born, the oldest of three children, all girls. I was very thin as a child, with light blonde hair and blue eyes, which have since darkened to hazel. My eyes change color with what I wear, from green to a golden brown.
I learned to read at four.
I was self-taught. I memorized the book ‘The Cat In The Hat’ and then the words just made sense wherever I looked. I was able to make the connection between the words and the sounds and the letters.
I have an excellent memory, and always beat my grandfather much to his amazement at the game, Concentration. (You have all cards face down, and match pairs)
I always wanted to be a healer, a doctor, and to work.
After I got my gold cross–and yes, even after it was taken from me–I was a tomboy. Tomboy! Tomboy! Tomboy! And I wore my overalls every chance I could get.
I loved baseball, camping, fishing, riding anything that moved (skates, skateboards, bikes, motorcycles)…I remember asking God why I was a girl and how come my body had to mature, it seemed so impractical!
God, in His mercy, sent me a dream, and explained to me what being a woman is all about, and I never questioned it any more.
Around this time, I also was very active in the non-denominational Christian fellowship called Campus Life. I enjoyed reading the bible and taking notes in my daily Quiet Time. I also enjoyed going to Bible Study with friends. I went to one that was held before school even, at somebody’s house. My father would give me a ride, then we would walk to high school.
Here I am now, so close, so very close to my Beloved.
I am falling asleep as I write this, ready to close my eyes, yawning as I was almost asleep in my bed when my Beloved asked me, pointing his hand to the computer, to work.
So I did.
I love him that much.
I trust him in his requests.
I do not question.
I only hope I have done enough, answered his request to the best of my ability, and get to go back to sleep.
Anthony is delighted with the bunny, and she really seems to like him. She also, amazingly enough, seems to enjoy watching TV, for she relaxes on her top shelf and has her eyes on the screen. Anthony likes to watch Impractical Jokers on Tru tv, and perhaps she enjoys our laughter too.
We offered her a chance to explore the outdoors in the enclosed area, but she didn’t like our noises spent cleaning it first. She chose to stay in her cage.
We will try again tomorrow, but the turtle, who could also use a chance to run outside, had a very nice time in the wash tub taking a swim!
I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine.
Yes Carla, you have done my request to perfection! Now, go and get some rest…
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple