Where to Begin?
Things are happening for me at a rapid pace in my spiritual growth and development. All of it is welcome. And it’s hard to find the words to describe it.
It’s like that work-life ‘balance’ that was so elusive for me is starting to become right–and it’s a surprise in that it is ACCEPTANCE of ‘what is’–MY attitude–that is turning things around for the better.
Case in point–a colleague asked me at the last minute late last night by text to please do a thoracic case for them first thing, extra early in the morning. I had requested a different specialty to work with on my very high call day. Anthony had a HUGE project due, and needed me to get everything safe and one piece to school first thing Monday morning. Never mind it was too late to call and ask for someone to give him a ride to school.
So I ignored the text. And in the morning, I smiled and apologized.
The switch would have had me have to get to work one half-hour earlier, and I didn’t want to disrupt my inner sanctum over ‘a favor’ for a coworker.
This morning, in a rush, but still sitting at the table, Anthony had his special hot cocoa from me (I make it from scratch with coconut sugar–the one with the low glycemic index) and we both had pancake sausage on a stick. He had two, I had one. We only save these for ‘special occasions’–and I laughed about ‘Breakfast on a Stick!’.
He asked me, ‘Mom? Why do you drink coffee?’
I smiled. I’ve been asking myself that lately. I enjoy it, but it is an acquired taste.
Last week when I caught up with the dishes, I saw I had three press pots and three travel mugs in the sink.
I am enslaved.
I am enslaved in the Health Care system, and this is the proof of the hours I keep, my lifestyle.
Someone today said, ‘You have to make sacrifices to go with a certain career’…it was a fascinating discussion. I saw in the locker room she had a stick on device on her arm. It was an insulin pump. And she is type one diabetic.
She explained how she is very proactive about her schedule in her workload, and up front about not skipping her meals. She gets ‘buy in’ from her coworkers, and arranges for coverage so she can eat.
“I will have lunch shortly after I arrive, then in four hours a snack, and then my dinner will be three hours after that…”
She doesn’t accept a ‘label’ but she says her condition is like having a small child who will never grow up.
She also, wisely, will not engage in conflict if her blood sugar is too low or too high, because her brain ‘isn’t working right’. She politely excuses herself, and says, ‘I will not respond at the moment, because my blood sugar is not right. Once I fix it I will get back to you on that matter.’
I stared at her, and couldn’t believe it. I was eating my lunch at TWO–and out it came–I have been taught from day one that to be a ‘good doctor’ I had to put my patients needs first. I go without sleep, without food, without spending time with my friends and family…I go without water…sometimes even without going to the bathroom!! And here I am, a total one-hundred-eighty degrees out of alignment with HEALTH!
I was glad she got my point.
At work, Corporate Medicine is sick of the expensive Health Insurance Rates for employees who have chronic health conditions. They have a ‘group’ you can join if you have high blood pressure or diabetes–to ‘maintain it’–because it’s cheaper once controlled, yes?
Well, all this ‘stuff’ is on a jumbotron in the cafeteria–a big screen that flashes HEALTH messages.
Like, ‘after work, why not go for a walk in the park once you get home?’
Right. At nine-thirty p.m. when I have hungry pets and a sleepy child? Besides, what is there to SEE in the dark???
Don’t be ridiculous!
They put us into this dehumanizing system since day one of the Industrial Age–then the health goes–and then in addition to doing the work which is the corporate lifeblood (money)–we now are to control the health effects of this corporate lifestyle?
My work is good–they try. They have exercise classes, and mean well. But it sure seems misguided, and also, impractical–considering what is expected of us.
This is a little bit of sarcasm. I got my property tax bill yesterday. It went up. Here is what a calendar for an anesthesiologist in private practice is like:
January–breather, unless you have to do your taxes early. One quarterly tax payment is due.
February–Second installment property taxes are due
March–Corporation taxes are due to be filed by deadline, quarterly malpractice payment is due
April--personal taxes are due to be filed by the deadline.
May–no major things due
June–next installment of malpractice is due, and also a quarterly tax payment
July–no major things due
September–quarterly malpractice payment, and quarterly tax payments
November –property taxes are due, first installment, open enrollment for health insurance
December–Malpractice payment, and also, early quarterly tax payment, due in January but most send it in the current tax year.
It’s a vicious cycle.
For some reason today, I SAW just how much taxes I pay–one way or another–to the city, as sales taxes, to the state, to the federal government…you just can’t turn around without something or other being taxed!
Not that I will fight it, but I SEE–and furthermore I SEE what is LACKING is accountability for how this vast quantity of money is spent!
I also see how in my work, with the long hours–there is no limit on income like there is with a forty-hour workweek, so in a way, that is the way to see the good in something that is otherwise unpleasant.
Today, without pay, I went over the computer records to make sure all was done in compliance with what is asked of our department. I did this twice! Before I went home for the day, I also checked every cart–finding many things to toss–in all but one of our operating rooms. I marked each anesthesia cart with tape and my initials.
Higher management knows I care, and I put in the extra effort to keep our hospital in good shape to pass inspection which is due any time…
Some things are worth more than money–and sometimes it’s important to get the job done.
I think out of all corporations, my workplace is one of the better ones.
I just want to see ALL of Healthcare become more ‘user friendly’ for both the patients and the healers…in time.
Something For Me
I had communications with Ross and later, as a surprise, with Ashtar. But I forget what was said. So that’s ‘for me’.
What is nice, though, and I can share, are that when I was at my low point for the day, there were several ‘signs’ I knew that Ross and my teams were thinking of me: a special song, a comment on FB, some other thing…and it helped me to gather up my strength and make it through to the end of my day.
I also noticed how HUNGRY the animals are, and how grateful, for the food I gave them each when I got home. I am happy that through my hard work, I can support them, and us. And also, to help those who help me–the cleaning people, my baby sitters, and others who count on me to help them out as much as I count on them.
My neurosurgeon I talked to today trained in NY. He lived in a studio that cost one thousand dollars a month. It was HALF the size of the O.R. we were working inside. He walked to and from the hospital.
He said it wasn’t pleasant to live in NY because he was working all the time, hardly had any money, and couldn’t enjoy the town; but now, he and his wife and three kids go, and he is thankful for the opportunity to visit and to enjoy it.
Another doc I know, takes some R and R days to a hotel every two weeks with the family. It was Santa Monica last time, now this time, Palm Springs. He says with his lifestyle, they can’t afford NOT to go–because then he can relax and enjoy his family.
That makes a lot of sense.
It also makes sense because he is an excellent physician, and taking care of the family is a form of self-care.
I realized just this weekend, that time with my family–Anthony–and doing things I enjoy, energize me just as much if not MORE than one of my ‘strongest’ crystals.
That’s why I am writing now…I hope to have a smooth morning, and some yoga, before I go to work tomorrow.
All is well…
Carla is misunderstood.
Carla has been maligned by historical records, which are highly inaccurate–in her time she spent with me, in our past lives together.
Carla is setting the record straight.
Carla is setting the record straight once and for all by LEARNING to understand HERSELF, for what she is, and what she isn’t.
This is what strengthens and aligns the energy signature! (points his fingers to his chest with one hand and keeps bouncing it back and forth for emphasis–ed)
By knowing what you know, and who you are, you are unstoppable in the Higher Realms.
I mean it…in every sense of the word: UNSTOPPABLE.
There is no turning back.
And neither shall you.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins