Making A Difference
Last night I wrote about the contentment we feel when we are making a difference, through our efforts–towards a common cause, towards another, towards someone who depends on us.
This is a difficult concept, and at some moments, we fail miserably.
It is the balance of the two that makes us human, and in a word, REAL.
The concept of REAL as mentioned in one of my favorite books, the Velveteen Rabbit…if you haven’t read that book in a long time, you might want to take a look at it.
Just for today, I am going to ‘mix it all up’–my thoughts, both the good and the falling short–and be as open and honest and real as I can about all that is here in my heart. The state of making a difference, and sometimes not–the balance, I call a state of being ‘In-Difference’…enjoy:
- Work was hard today. I could barely wake up, I was exhausted. Even though I didn’t have to take Anthony to school (he was with his father), and I had a late start, I had a terrible time getting out of the house this morning. The master bath faucet broke, it wouldn’t turn on. I took a shower (fortunately there is another bathroom) and called to report the breaking to the cleaning service. They break things–many things–I have had my prize Tiffany mermaid stained glass from the museum break, my angel’s hand broke and was taped on with double sided tape (I don’t have any in the house), my elliptical (the vacuum broke the plug and I have no idea how to replace it–where it goes into the machine), the shelves for the movie DVD, every stopper in every sink in the house, my beloved press pot, and now this…so for those of you dreaming about having a cleaning service, it has its ‘real’ too. All in all, the workers are excellent, and frankly, I couldn’t clean my home as nice as them…
- Although I was at work all day, I made very little money for my time. I had one lump and bump, a long gap, a small case, and half a large one. There is so much stress at work you could cut the air with a knife–the hospital is being inspected. Tomorrow is the third day. My nerves are shot.
- I met a reader of DWR today, who is visiting here for a conference. Thanks to my sitter, I was able to spend three hours just relaxing and having fun. We went to the beach and walked on the pier. We went to a crystal shop. We went to my favorite asian mini-mall. The whole time, I sensed Ross’ presence–he was just as delighted to watch me and Diane shop together as he was the times he used to watch me in the kitchen. He loves seeing my feminine side, and he said many sweet things to me about how much I mean to him. He was indulgent, and I’m not used to that. I’m GETTING used to that. I have no doubt in my mind at some point Diane and I will remember how we knew each other in a past life, but judging on Ross’ enjoyment, it must have been a close relationship in the life when Ross and I were both incarnate. I am content.
- Sometimes I feel like I have no control and the Universe calls all the shots when it comes to these messages I see online: http://mensajesfedgalacticayashtarcommand.blogspot.com/2015/10/fran-zepeda-repost-mary-magdalene-and.html. I saw that picture and my heart sank! There she goes. (apparently this is from Paulina, and not Fran, the repost). I have asked, commanded, merged and talked to the highest council about making it be consistent–just ONE–because I didn’t want to be embarrassed when people say, ‘you are this but SHE says that!’ I’ve done a lot of thinking about it. I have come to the conclusion that whatever entity is writing THIS channeling, has never felt pain, or worked a hard day in her life. She just doesn’t ‘get it’. I do. I have the trauma to heal from how Ross died. I have felt the betrayals time and again from those close to me, in that incarnation–the loss of Benjamin, Ross’ extramarital affairs, the stealing of the church from me by the apostles. I have worked through each loss, again and again. And I am humble about it. Ross, the one I know and love, he remembers pain too, and is deeply sorry for how it affected me. What do I think when I read one of these channeled messages? I think it’s what most people want to hear, when they think of Mary Magdalen and Jeshua: perfect, all-loving, excellent teachers, totally patient, never a hair out of place…That SELLS! You can buy a mug with a saying on it–a bumper sticker–or a little night light for your bathroom–all with the same, ‘everything is going to be okay’ GLOW. Perhaps it’s true. Perhaps it’s possible. But for me? And for Ross? We are REAL, we are human, we know what it is like to be incarnate, and we take the good with the not so great, together…and we share our growth with you, in this blog ‘home’. This is not for sale! Nor will it ever be for sale! All these years and not even a ‘donate’ button! : )
- I’m not sure if Fran or Paulina knows how much pain it gives me to see these channeled messages after I asked for it to stop. I do know, that if they know it, and post it, BIG karma is being racked up by them. It is what it is. Everyone has free will, you know?
- My sister, who is an incarnate archangel, asked me to double-check a reading she had from somebody. I saw red. In the first sentence of it was ‘you ask this question but I won’t answer because what you paid for is the three card reading and that is all you are going to get’. It got worse from there. Although the information was true, it was not presented in love, or in a constructive way to help my sister grow to be independent on her own in sorting out her own spiritual growth; instead it sought to create dependency on the reader. In 3D we are blind! All of us–more or less. And some who are more gifted at ‘the sight’ can help those who can’t see, working with the public isn’t easy, I know. People like this one–who was listed as an ‘Angel’ referral on the web page of a well respected incarnate Ascended Master–are wolves in sheep’s clothing! And if this woman was REALLY gifted, immediately she would have realized that my sister, an Archangel, outranks HER an ‘angel’–and furthermore this ‘reader’ is not fit to tie my sister’s shoelaces!!! My advice to you, is to avoid all ‘angel$’ and ‘p$ychic$’ like the plague. Buy yourself some nice–no negative–divination cards like Doreen Virtue’s, and get a book of Shadows (a plain journal just for your spiritual growth and work). Pick a card every day. Think about it. Write it down. And later, at the end of the day, see if it came to pass. Once in a while, do a bigger spread for yourself. It is LATER, like months or years–when you go back and read it you will notice just how accurate you have become! There was no teacher for me except Blessed Mother–in Spirit–and this is how I learned. Don’t pay people money to read for you unless they are of the highest vibration…and you will KNOW that they are because they won’t try to keep you coming back for more–you will feel loved and supported at all times–and be treated with respect. My sister’s reader had a ‘Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am’ energy to it, and it made me sick. I’m so glad my sister reached out to me, and I could show I care so very much more for her. We had a heart to heart. And we both feel better.