Today there was an opportunity for my new-found growth and development to shatter. If it had been five weeks, five months or even one year ago, I would have been in the pits of despair.
A woman posted something on instagram that insinuated she was with Ross (by another name, his ‘more common’ name) on their ‘honeymoon’ at the Greek Islands and she bought this icon of him. She also spoke of a new tarot deck by D.V. coming out ‘soon’, and said, ‘I hope they share the darker moments of him.’
Our honeymoon all those years ago was in Greece! On an island! And we stayed there a long time. It was the happiest memory of my soul, ever. It is indelibly etched, and I can still see the rooms in the house where we stayed…high on a hill, with a short walk down to the ocean.
I know this woman, who is fond of tarot. I have heard she has a ‘connection’ to ‘Ross’–by his other name.
And something CAUGHT me.
It was Trust.
Ross and I are at that point in our relationship where I understand things are not always what they appear.
I know he would never hurt me.
And the one who actually could speak of such a relationship, out of pure and holy love for me, spares my heart from this pain. She understands.
I asked Ross, ‘is this true?’
He answered, ‘it’s not what you’d think’ and she was basically cousins–the one with the tarot. Back then.
Later today, someone asked about Sacred Heart Yoga? Is Ross really working with that woman? Would you ask please?
He said I am not ready yet for that, and as a better solution, for the person to ask him through her pendulum. But I will be ready in a short time.
It’s not easy sharing your love of all eternity with the world of those incarnate.
They have such beliefs! And are very ‘tightly’ holding on to them too!
Ross gave me his final gift. And I know it and I sense it in my bones as our Truth.
Everything else, from the church of the L-dee-ess (If I spell it, it’s a keyword, and they will be on me), to Joe Blow down the street, is going to have an opinion. About who he is. And us.
I am okay with it, whatever is to follow. Tonight we set the table for him, and he had dinner with us. He drinks, he doesn’t eat. We used the fancy water goblets he told me to buy (four ninety nine at the thrift shop for Waterford lol, $4.99 a stem)…and Anthony loved them! It makes the water so delightful you hardly notice it is not milk or juice! Ross is such a good father to our son! I even did the crystal singing thing with my wet finger on the rim. Anthony was enchanted by the trick to make the sound…
Anthony is enjoying school now too–thank you my Beloved for whatever it was you did to that kid! LOL
I go to sleep now, and I want you to know, that change IS possible, in your heart. Your worst fears shall vanish! All it takes is to do the work–feel the feelings in your heart, reach out to your guides, angels, and deceased Loved Ones…
By dumping ballast and emotional baggage, you will be Light!
By embracing what comes in your life (your lessons) you will be triumphant.
Whatever it is with Ross, what he did or has to do, my heart KNOWS his soul. I know it enough to be calm, and polite, no matter what the ‘claim’ on him. There are no secrets, between us, as male and female. It is what it is, and I am thankful for His presence in my life.
I want you to take a look at this–as also will Carla–I want you to read it now honey, and tell me what you think. And to be honest! https://johnsmallman2.wordpress.com/2015/10/20/you-are-just-momentarily-asleep-and-dreaming-sometimes-horrific-dreams/
C: my Beloved? It is a little embarrassing to be told I am nothing more than a thought inside an Illusion that is as flimsy as a soap bubble. I feel instead of the Love you speak, of which I have no concept–embracing ME?…well, I feel about two inches tall and a sleepyhead too. (I laugh) Not that I take it PERSONAL or anything. And John Smallman himself? With his worries? Only an idiot would look to the broadcast news and media for signs of change–not that I mean to use such harsh words–but we have been controlled by the controllers for so long–through all media and entertainment…the sky is beautiful, the breeze is fresh, and the energies are INCREDIBLE! I ask you quiet simply my Beloved–what more is there to know? And to experience? My heart fills with compassion for all who suffer. And I help uplift those I am able to uplift…it’s all GOOD and I am HAPPY and Content! It’s been three days now, of contentment. And you and I we have weathered two small ‘aftershocks’ that were not so harmful after all to our closeness of our hearts. That is what I think of your message through John Smallman today.
(he contemplates it, and strokes his beard, searching for the right words and slowly taking it all in–ed)
R: So you have no concept of both the Love and the metaphor of sleep?
C: I am an expert on unconsciousness and sleep. I don’t get it at all.
R: Not even the nasty dreams, the nightmares?
C: Ross I am not six years old. Of course not!
R: What is there to be said?
C: The fabric of the Illusion is threadbare and ready to pop, just like an old pair of pants. It is going to give one embarrassing RIP and soon the underwear (the tighty whiteys!) is going to show through and embarrass the heck out of those who do not have our best interest at heart and create the Illusion. It’s that done. It’s like cloth at the beach that has had too much sun. There is no strength in it.
R: That is spoken like a woman! Who runs the home! Did you know Carla once ran the home our family lived in, when I was alive? She did!
R: so there you have it. One way or the next–nightmare waking up, or terribly embarrassing moment to arrive for some–where love and happiness will reign supreme over any embarrassment one may suffer. This goes for both the good and the bad too. All are God’s kids!
Carla go to sleep. It is now eleven. Go!
And thank you for sharing with me your thoughts…
Aloha and mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple