Just For Today
I won’t sweat the small stuff.
I saw a lot today at work.
There are patients whose BODIES are falling apart, and it’s serious.
I enjoy now helping them, and being present with them, as their anesthesiologist.
It isn’t easy, doing the work I do.
Some people are very tricky to keep safe while they are under their anesthetic. The blood pressure and the heart rate change rapidly, and the oxygen saturation can drop fast too. I have to fix it.
So talking with people–patients and their families–and helping them through their surgery, offering the surgeon the best conditions to work and keeping the patients safe…that’s my thing…
I love it.
I’m not celebrating anything. I’m not decorating. It’s just not THERE for me to do that, not on ‘cue’ as the marketers tell us this time of year.
I love myself enough to limit my energy expenditure, and my money I can spend safely with all of my overhead I currently have. I have a lot of things that really add up.
Instead I am enjoying the moment, the spontaneity, the people I am with, wherever I am. I like the music, but not so much as I have in the past.
I went from a total disconnect as a child, to someone very fond of the holidays, to a little more neutral about it now.
Why, I can’t explain. Fortunately, Anthony has it too, and I appreciate it.
What IS a ‘holiday’, to you?
More On The Home
I have a plan. I’m not so fearful any more.
People have energy attachments to where they live. It’s the land. It’s the memories. And that’s why people almost universally cry when they have to move away from places they like.
I realize my ‘test’ was one of my resilience to ‘the monkey of FEAR’ that jumped from a neighbor who is very fearful’s back to my own, when I realized she wasn’t going to help me fix the problem of the movement in our homes. All in the row must be fixed together.
I felt lost and like I had to flee, that my hand was forced.
Looking back, I see that if my LOVE vibration had been high enough, I would have seen her for what she is–fear-motivated–and not let it infect me.
I would have TRUST in God, and in my own ability to ‘defend my family’–even if I don’t have a husband in body, here with me now.
I would not have given up in my search for who to fix my home, who to tell me how to stabilize it, and what my options exactly are. I have had four contractors come to the home, to say ‘something needs to be done’ but no one knows how to figure out the pattern of movement.
I need to keep at it, and not be complacent, to have my needs and concerns addressed.
I also, could say to my neighbor with the fear–it is CHEAPER to fix the house than it is to move. Even if the repair is very expensive.
I’m not going to worry. But I am going to work harder, even though I am exhausted most of the time–to clear out the clutter, to be more Galactic in every way, and to hold a positive mindset for a non-specific outcome of something better.
I ALSO am going to remember the lesson from my father. I had a new Honda Civic, and it got a fender scrape weeks after it was new. I kept it ugly, because I didn’t want to spend the money; it was cosmetic, and who cares?
The repair from his friend was four hundred dollars. Daddy paid for it.
I was always so happy to see it without the ‘scars’…Daddy thought I was worth it. He was right. I had to learn to see it too.
Today is the first day my big toe is not hurting as much as it usually does. This is my indicator of when I am fully in 5D and Ascended completely out of 3D.
I have a sense of the lesson being so forceful as to ’empty me out’ so I could ‘hold more of the good stuff (energy)’ next.
I’m far from being filled at this point.
I’m going to rest. It’s been a long day, and I’m ready to call it a night.
I want to say a thing about my Carla. Carla is beside me right this very minute, in my heart. Carla, what do you feel?
C: Warm waves of energy, like a summer day, a breeze, and vacation.
That is my heart, Carla. Do you like it? Do you enjoy it?
C: Yes, honey, I do. Very much.
Where is your heart and how does it feel?
C: Well it’s the funniest thing, Ross. When I was so traumatized this past week about the home, and in such PAIN, I learned how to tap into the energy of Home (the Higher Realms, Heaven)–and just put that on with a warm glow in my heart because I couldn’t stand the pain.
And what happened after that, to you?
C: I’ve had it come and go off and on for days. And I like it. I don’t know what it is, or why.
And is it fun?
C: No. It’s not ‘fun’. But it’s enjoyable and I like it.
What is the real me?
C: Some ball of light or something that I don’t understand, honey. I just don’t ‘get it’ how you can be a Light Body and an orb and a Galactic and all those other things you are…simultaneously.
I direct it at will.
C: (I am getting a sinking feeling that that’s what I am too, and it makes me nervous)
Why honey? Why does it make you nervous to be what you are?
C: It’s like I’m dead or something to be like you, and I don’t like the thought of really dying.
In what way? What is it you don’t like about it?
C: It’s so FINAL.
But it isn’t! it isn’t that way at all! Look at what happened to me!
C: You don’t have a body. Not like my own.
Why is this?
C: Because you are not incarnate.
C: I don’t know.
C: I don’t know. I can’t see it or feel it or sense it with anything but my intuition. I know it’s real, and yet I fight it. I don’t want to have to go through the death process just to experience it. Dying really sucks.
Now does it? Doesn’t it offer some relief to those who are critically ill, and suffering? Isn’t is a release that is just as natural as a seed being planted in another life?
C: Death REALLY sucks for those who are left behind, honey. It’s relief for one but awful for the rest. That’s why we don’t like it. It also means we have to change, and the auric fields must be redirected now that the etheric cords are nonexistent when they once were.
And that makes you uncomfortable?
C: IS THIS TWENTY QUESTIONS?!
Answer my question, There is one last to follow. WHY does it make you uncomfortable to experience or even think about death when it is to be a celebration?
C: It’s the ending of a way of life that is no more. There is NO flower from that planted seed. It’s like the husk and someone ate it! There is nothing tangible left except for the belongings, and people fight over that. it’s sick.
So it’s the societal expectation that makes it together as awful as it is?
C: And death is EXPENSIVE any way you look at it! There is so much hidden cost, and suffering to those who are left behind.
Like you and me?
C: (nods yes)
I am coming back. How’s that to think about? How do you feel?
C: really nice. But I catch myself, and wait to see before I count on it.
Why, my beloved? Why you more than anyone else?
C: Because when you came back the last time you didn’t stay, and I was alone.
You didn’t like it?
C: Not one bit. And I didn’t have any say in it at that time either. It was you and all your ‘friends’ up there who decided it (brushes hands together I do) and THAT was THAT!
So you didn’t want to have that experience, now, did you, wouldn’t you agree?
C: WHO WOULD?
(acts shocked–ed) I thought it was a good deal to come and see me one last time.
C: You only came because I was going to put the knife to my wrist in my grief and you stopped me.
And how was it?
C: If I only knew you were going to break my heart, again, I would have cut. I didn’t want to go through that life without you. And all I had was that ‘warm funny feeling in my chest’…and some memories.
How about your life, after my death?
C: Not so great. Not so happy.
Did you burn Karma, my pet?
C: I don’t know. What did I burn Karma for?
(he laughs–ed) I think you have had enough. We are not getting anywhere with this conversation, aren’t we? Talk about the plantains.
C: Our sitter fried bananas for us today.
C: I ate them.
Did you like them?
Are you full?
C: Sort of. I’ve had the stomach flu for two days, yesterday I had all liquids, and today I’ve had the chills.
Are you filled with happiness at her thoughtfulness?
C: Yes. And that Anthony is okay with her while I was at work.
I rest my case. There is lots of love and happiness. It doesn’t have to come from me. It is not with the money. It is not with the house. It is not with the opinion of others, or yourself. It is your heart. It has the ability to be warm and touched by those who are incarnate by thoughtful actions, is that not right?
Well then how about from those of us here who CARE about you? On my side? Where I live? Can you feel that too?
C: Sometimes. When there’s a special surprise, or a heart. It makes me feel loved and special. I sense and KNOW it is sent for me.
Well there you are!
C: There I am what?!
What I have proved is the ability for those of us who care about you to make our presence known without your touching us or having to lift a finger. I work through this. All of us do.
I love you. That’s all there is to say. And I am not ‘going away’–you are stuck with me! (he laughs–ed)
C: Next time ‘stick’ a little closer, will you mind please?
(he laughs and is really cracking up–there is nothing closer than Twins–he thinks it’s adorable that I don’t understand..and he’s laughing ‘with me’…ed)
Now pout your cheeks!
C: (he caught me, and called me on it–so I sigh a frustrated sigh, and decide to stop.)
Carla cut me off?! (mock surprise–ed)
C: I want to sleep. Good night baby…
And that goes for all of you who are listening too!
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple