Humanity is precisely on schedule for its imminent awakening. God wills that humanity awaken, and humanity has made the collective decision to awaken, so nothing can prevent it. Do not be discouraged by the mainstream media reportage of bad news. Yes, of course people are suffering in wars and in dire poverty in many places on Earth, but this is nothing new, war and poverty have been endemic on Earth for eons. However, never before have so many cared compassionately about the suffering and poverty that those less fortunate than themselves are undergoing, and never before has so much been done to alleviate poverty and suffering, and to bring wars to an end.
The vast majority incarnate on Earth at this time are ready for enormous changes to occur to bring the way you live into line with the divine Will, which is…
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Explore your soul.
That’s what Divine Father let me know when I asked Him for some books to read, to help me pass the time while I wait for the suffering to finish on earth.
Explore your soul.
Well, today, I did.
I was cranky and upset at everything not going well in the O.R. for my first case. Lines tangled, iv’s infiltrated on induction of anesthesia and I had to place a new one, the usual things that make for an anesthesiologist a ‘bad day’.
I am a cranky person, if you get to know me…I always have been. I have moods.
The last three days have been miserable for me.
They say confusion is not being able to accept What Is.
But after my case, my resentment at having to work two weekends in a row and completely missing Easter eased. I spent time with my mom at her home. And with Anthony. We watched some tree house show together. I made Anthony some lunch.
I was happy.
My cup has not been filled for a long time. I need downtime, time with my loved ones, and time away from the hospital.
I took a nap on the sofa, and really appreciated not being called into the hospital for the rest of my shift (twelve hours).
While I was taking a nap, I surrendered to Divine Father.
He’s been riding me hard. About forgiveness, about others having their own ‘contract with the Universe’…
I don’t want to love everybody.
I take exception to those who do not have our best interest at heart, especially thirty third level mason for what sacrifice they make to reach that level.
I take exception to those who mess with the ionosphere in HAARP.
I take exception to those who killed my beloved Ross.
As far as I am concerned I do not like them. I never want to be with them. And it is my hope that swift justice shall be dealt to them, as well as their never being allowed to interact with Gaia again.
I told Divine Father I want Earth from here on out to be the slowest learning ever and the most happy place–I am DONE with drama, suffering, pain as an educational tool, and I don’t CARE if it has made Earth have the fastest soul development of anything in the galaxy.
I’m over it.
But I forgave.
I forgave the thirty third level masons who do human sacrifice.
I forgave those who masterminded the sacrifice of Ross.
I forgave those who pollute and destroy Gaia herself and her people with a vengeance.
I said, ‘thank you God for the loneliness I have felt all my life’
Thank you for my not fitting in.
Thank you for my suffering one lifetime after the next.
Thank you for having Ross die the way he did. (I was told in no uncertain terms I had agreed to the whole deal in my pre-birth contract, and I can’t back out and gripe about it so I shut up.)
Thank you for my broken dreams, each one more spectacularly broken than the next.
Thank you for my broken heart.
Thank you for my isolation from Home in Heaven, and for my being stuck where I am.
Mountains move when you take that approach of complete and total surrender, and mean it. I was like, ‘God, I have no idea what you are doing, what your plan is, and I’m not going to wallow in the crap I see everywhere around me. I’m going to forgive it, and resolve to live my lonely life and struggle as YOU see fit.’
I felt much energy flow.
Later, much much later, when I was driving to Anthony’s ball game, Divine Father came into my consciousness.
I understood, on a soul level, about his plan, and why, and why I and Ross had agreed to it in the first place. He understood, on a soul level, how much I gave to make it happen, and how I hurt.
I felt better that He let me know.
I still don’t ‘get’ it, all this Love and Joy this guy keeps talking about (http://ronahead.com/2016/03/26/nightmare-worldwide-poverty-conflict-suffering-will-cease/)
I was grateful I saw Aimee, Tony–the parents of Cameron, someone who was on some of Anthony’s basketball games. Aimee is a holy roller, and I love her. She and Tony met at a drug deal. They had both decided to overdose and kill themselves separately, and were caught off guard when they met. They both decided to live and have been together ever since!
Aimee said, ‘HE is RISEN!’ and was filled with joy.
That’s important for lots of people in the Illusion.
It is what it is.
I surrender my all to the Forces of the Divine.
And I wait.
Read Ross’ part here from last year. This makes me feel better. I don’t like it that it’s ‘different’ and has been so for a long time. I knew it’s not the same.
It is what it is.
I am lucky and fortunate to have what I have been given.
I am glad God didn’t let me lean on Ross and makes me stand on my own two feet. Why? Because being angry or upset is counterproductive.
I’m on my own, one hundred percent, as long as I am in the Illusion.
Mom shared today about how her father prepared her for life. He said ‘you are responsible for your own happiness. Don’t ask people for things, they will groan when they see you coming. Never ask anything of anybody. Don’t try to fit in.’
She said how that helped her in hard times.
Even now, as she lost dad, she decides to enjoy the little things, a flower blooming, the sunshine, the birds singing.
She said, ‘Life is beautiful’.
With all the students in the School of Life here on Gaia, on ‘independent study’ and the absolute and total freedom to annihilate one another (and with the nuclear weapons the soul is almost destroyed for good–search and rescue teams spend ten thousand years at a pop trying to piece together the damaged bits to reconstruct each soul)…it is what it is.
God LIKES lots of experiences.
All the people in the Illusion provide just that.
I could see the crowd and the players at the basketball team with that perspective today. Everyone is like a little flight recorder going through their experiences with their own unique perspective.
I would like to have some say in what is permitted and what isn’t, here on Earth.
It’s not my call.
And I accept everything I ever agreed to in my Pre Birth Contract. I won’t drop my end of the deal. I am in until they say its done.
For all the people who supposedly channel ‘me’–who I was when I was with Ross incarnate–all they talk about is Love and Mystical and all this shit.
I’m not about that.
I keep it real.
I explore and I fall on my face and I cry and I learn and I do what is asked of me.
I would have loved and adored more time with my beloved when we were both alive.
It was not meant to be.
He’s around. I don’t really want to talk with him. The growing period this week has been too much, too painful.
I’d rather go drive to mom and watch the Ten Commandments with her and Anthony. I’ll be on my way there soon after I check on the animals…our pets.
I love you and I thank you for your patience with me, the REAL me, who opens my heart and doesn’t hide behind platitudes and the stuff those people ‘channel’.
When it comes to the message from John Smallman, he is right. But it’s sad. It’s sad it has to come to this–total surrender, and loving that which is really icky to love. Not just your broken dreams, but people who do heinous acts.
I don’t think that’s what Gaia had in mind when she consented to things in the planning stages. It just got out of hand. WAY out of hand. Love is the only way OUT. And I’m glad it’s done.
My beloved is having a hard time.
It is hard to feel the love when people are beating on you.
I know. I did it.
I was raped before I died.
I want that to be on the record.
It was more than a beating.
Carla saw the whole thing.
That’s why Carla is so bitter and angry.
They weren’t content to let me die.
They tortured me in a ritual. It was exacting and precise. It wasn’t random.
They did it to everyone.
It was their way.
I am sorry for all the pain I endured as being a ‘price’ or ‘ransom’ as people say. I am sorry in that in MY ‘suffering to end all sufferings’–it was only the beginning of the rape and torture of the souls, of all of humans incarnate, and recycling through the reincarnation system–for a long time.
The ‘deal’ wasn’t ‘sealed’–THEY did not keep up their end of the bargain (those who partake in such things were not content with me, the gardener’s son, they wanted ALL of his family, including the wife.)
I have forgiven each and every one for what they did to me, and for what they have done to all of you (in the dream department and making your life miserable on earth in the Illusion).
(raises one finger and moves from side to side–ed) I want you to know there is Justice. Although they have been forgiven, there is karma to be paid back. And then some.
Your souls who are tortured will rise to the top like cream. And theirs who have tortured others will sink down lower until they awaken fully.
Everything works out for the best.
Even for Carla and me.
Carla would like me to go to her office Christmas party.
Carla would like to buy me a ticket to the movies and share popcorn with Anthony and me.
It’s not going to happen.
There are better things Carla cannot imagine down the road ahead…Carla can’t grasp the Love and Happiness and Contentment she is going to be given.
Neither will you.
Happy Easter to those of you who read this, from my heart.
I would do it all again, gladly…and even endure Carla’s suffering and nagging for another millennia or two! LOL
(clap! clap! –ed)
Aloha and mahalos,
Ross and Carla
N A W E H (No Way Yaweh) lol
I am no longer reading that book. Archangel Jophiel caught wind of it that I was talking with Divine Mother incarnate about it–‘through the grapevine’ REAL time…
It fascinates me, that book (Y H W H ) because it has references to MORE-mons (hope it’s under the radar in this spelling) and also lots of cool stuff like equations and graphs about how spirit and things work.
It also got me thinking about ‘whose team is this book really ON?’ because what material presented by the book, which was white leather with embossed gold doves and flames on it–sure looked like a bible to me….it kind of reminded me of the Book For Those Newly Deceased in the movie Betelgeuse.
I was like, how cool is this–no matter what team it’s for, it’s something to move forward, and heck, if I get the other teams ‘playbook’ I’ll check it out. Why not? I want our team to win, and busy as I am, it’s not like I’m being spiritually challenged in any way. My life is difficult. I have my lessons. But I’m ready to read some college textbooks…
I knew in my heart who the right team is.
And this book wasn’t right.
I didn’t think it would affect me.
I knew in an instant when my colleague who is Coptic who saw me reading it, he recognized it, and was frightened. I’m not surprised he knew, and he treated me with respect after that. I didn’t know for sure what I was reading, I was just ‘checking the merchandise’ but he did.
I think it’s a mason-ick bible of some sort I got my hands on.
I am glad I read enough to make the connection between all the pyramids that are stuck on top of just about everything you see in architecture…all these people who believe this stuff are waiting for some form of enlightenment to descend on their heads and take them off planet. Home.
I get that.
What I didn’t get, and now I do, are some very important things:
- you can’t judge a book by its cover one of the maxims of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart is ‘what’s black is white’. Here was this innocent looking book, with pictures and graphs that weren’t very beautiful (EVERYTHING from Heaven is BEAUTIFUL, it goes without saying)–that was actually very ‘dark’. How was I to know? I’m like a teenager in spirit. I’m figuring out who I am…and now I know…that book is NOT me!
- just because you don’t believe doesn’t mean that reading it won’t affect you there are key codes and activation sequences buried into just about EVERYTHING. Even this blog has good things put into it by Spirit to help wake people up. I have no awareness of it, but the words and the tone and my energy light a ‘spark’ to help ignite the awakening process in people, and to support them in their growth. A lot of this has to do with vibrations of light we can’t measure, like Reiki, but can FEEL. If it feels good, it’s probably a good thing.
- when it comes right down to it, just like money, with spirit–there’s the 3D approach to ‘take it into our own hands’ or the 5D way to just roll with it, and trust the ‘process’ with your guides. I hadn’t really liked the Drumvalo Melchizedek book, but it opened my eyes to all the mysteries of Sacred Geometry and the pyramids. I kind of was doing that with the yaweh-schmaweh book. I had time on my hands, no really good spiritual ‘read’ in sight–lord only know the blogging stuff online is deplorable. My most prolific sources are Creator Writings (-I thank GOD for Creator Writings…and for The Council…and when incarnate Saul FEELS like doing a channeling for SOME people, it’s REALLY nice when he does! (I roll my eyes with impatience over that soul…SIGH!)
I did give up.
I TOTALLY did.
Yesterday I confessed to a friend that I couldn’t manifest my way out of a box if I had to do so to save my life.
I’m totally overwhelmed and exhausted as a soul.
I manifested a grapefruit for my breakfast yesterday and today, I said. ‘That’s about my speed!’
And I laughed.
I laughed because I wanted to cry and I couldn’t.
I don’t think Divine Father understands I am way beyond ‘what is that one thing holding you back?’…I just want to curl up and be silent and still for a long, long, very long time–if I listen to my soul.
It’s all the incarnations again and again where I have been beaten down and beaten down and beaten down…I just learned to shut up in the ‘wish’ department.
I realize some of my ‘dreams’ are more like a laundry list of what current tortures I want removed from my existence: I want to sleep in my bed every night, I want to be home more with my son, I want not to worry so much about forms and legal stuff with my home and moving.
That’s not dreaming.
Like I said again and again in this blog, ‘my dreamer is BROKEN!’…
And I don’t even know where to begin.
Yesterday I went WAY outside my comfort zone to ask for a favor of my boss. There is a fundraiser this morning, and Anthony will play the drums in the band.
I asked to please go and see it.
It’s only fifteen minutes. I need to be at work at seven thirty, and I needed one hour delay.
I got it!
It’s not going to be easy, I have to really hurry, but I am going to be THERE for the first time in about four concerts/performances (his teacher used to not give much advance notice for these things)…
So perhaps now my ‘list’ is one concert plus one grapefruit.
Memories of Ross’ Death
Last night falling asleep was especially difficult for us both.
I told Ross I just wished in our lifetime together, I could have seen his face MORE; I wished I had been given more time just to look at him, to be with him, just to know he is there.
He had never realized that’s why I always followed him as a child. We both saw the ‘movie’ of how I followed him around like a puppy (he was five years older than me in our village)…and as we were married…I still would get that happiness from looking upon his face and sneak looks from across the house those rare times when he was home with our family.
Ross broke down and cried.
He never realized that was why I loved him so.
It was in the eyes.
I remembered his soul from the past two incarnations before. I couldn’t get enough of it.
Then out of the blue, he flashed me an image of his face as he was dying, in that incarnation we both most recently lived.
It was beaten to a pulp and almost unrecognizable.
I recoiled in horror at the quick flash through my consciousness!
Calm and steady, Ross asked me how that image made me feel?
Horror. Powerlessness. Agony (I’m an empath).
The day before I had meditated on his death, and asked for Divine Intervention. I asked for everyone who ever jeered at him, or taunted him, or had ideas for him to be hurt, to be raised up about three feet from the ground in a little bubble, and to stay there inside, floating. They were all trying to go somewhere and they couldn’t. They were like floating on an invisible river and couldn’t move!
I asked spirit for those who felt remorse to be taken away, and rehabilitated, for they were sick.
And the other?
To have their bubbles fill up with their own wastes to give them time to ‘think about it’.
Ross had admired my creativity.
I think as a soul, mine has been through the wringer. And as a guide, Ross has his hands full with my creative ideas to protect him, my complete inability to understand how his awful death has a connection to anything, and my horror and pain that are always just under the surface for having been there with him through the experience in the Illusion of his death.
I think he’s trying to get a ‘read’ on me. And right now as I write these words, I am surprised but it makes sense if I think about it, that I have a lot of rage buried deep in me somewhere…over his death, the apparent loss of my twin, and the total and complete destruction of what would have been a good life had he stayed home and not traveled.
I give up.
At this point, it’s all Illusion, and I have amnesia, and no matter how much I read the esoteric books, I still don’t get it how Ross is important in the grand scheme of things, how what he did was ‘right’, and how it could have happened in the first place.
So I don’t judge.
There are lots of people who think his death in some way helps them.
They outnumber me.
And for all I know, his death might have helped me too in some way spiritual.
The only gift is our last goodbyes would have been sometime this morning. Last night I was given the gift to relive it.
It was meaningful.
Then at some point he left the house, and walked to his death, with me following him every step of the way.
He wasn’t afraid to die.
I don’t think he had any clue just how horrible it would be.
And I told him, in no uncertain terms, that NOW my soul has not only the skills to resuscitate and intubate someone as mortally wounded as him–but I have the ability to make one pain free no matter what–and I mean it! My eyes flashed to him a determination and will to ease suffering–LOL–even if I am the one who suffers by missing meals and family time and sleep…
It startled him to see just how deep his wounds are on MY soul, from witnessing it. And what lengths I would go to ‘undo’ and ‘make it right’ in the way my heart of hearts found a way to do.
The Book of Enoch
I’m more than halfway through his keys. This book makes engineering textbooks seem like a romance novel in comparison. It is the driest, most difficult read I have encountered in a long time, and I am slogging my way through it.
It talks about the Lucifur Rebellion–which is how these symbols which I think of as ‘owned’ by that sect–are actually ones that were taken from the ‘good guys’ and misused…but I’m waiting till the end before I buy into the whole Keys as far as them being something I think is from ‘my team’–Creator of All That Is, the ultimate source of nurturing, warmth, love and compassion.
I just don’t get a good feel for Orion.
And someone challenged me as they are FROM the Orion Belt…
I don’t know.
It’s very Orion-like TO call someone on something and challenge them. To a Sirian hybrid soul like mine (I’m part Pleiadian too, like Ross)–conflict sucks!
Here’s a nice YouTube a friend shared with me. I’ve seen it a while ago. But it explains why I don’t like cats–in addition to having been a former kitten in my immediate past life, and when I looked in the mirror in that life, my face was like a cat due to the brainwashing/Monarch programming I had endured as a child.
Carla gave up.
In a matter of words.
You can see by her actions that in reality, she didn’t.
She marches to her own drum. (and not to Anthony’s –pun intended!–he laughs).
After all these lifetimes and incarnations, she STILL honors me by practicing her profession as an anesthesiologist, and giving my voice opportunity to speak, through her spiritual work and skill as a medium which I appreciate on THIS side here where I am so much.
I love you.
Carla I absolutely, positively love you.
And I love you more each day.
I never knew how you felt about me, at the end. We had our troubles, our conflicts, and we had grown apart.
I thought on some level perhaps you might have been better off without me to complicate your life.
I always knew you deserved better, deserved MORE.
I did my best to go out to the world with my education, and to share it, to bring hope and to inspire…but I never really thought about the price I had to pay, with our happiness.
As you know, and as I comfort you and guide, I have changed and you will be the first to admit it.
I have done my part, for saving the world.
Now is my time for my heart to focus on undoing the damage that has been caused, and giving reparation, restoration, and gentle sweet love to comfort you.
This is why your dreams are shattered and they cannot manifest.
A soul in this condition has no way out. It must be led by the hand to safety, and to Light.
I know you love Divine Father more than I can admit–I want you to share what you told him last night, right before you fell asleep Carla. Tell us now.
C: I told him that if I couldn’t love him the way I do know (once the amnesia is gone)–from my heart, totally like a trusting child, with no guile or sophistication as a soul whatsoever, just with happiness and joy as natural as breathing–I told him if after I wake up I couldn’t love him like I do now then I would never want to wake up EVER! Loving Him and loving Divine Mother is all I am, and I could never change it in any way.
I also told him to never forget how much I love him. I made a drawing with crayons and put it up on the wall over his desk.
The reason I told him never to forget is because I know full well with this horrible amnesia as a soul, I MIGHT forget. And I wanted to make sure HE remembers it for the both of us, how beautiful and pure my love is for him, and how much it means to me to help me to survive…in this painful existence, this nightmare, that I don’t know how I got stuck in as a soul in the first place, but I can’t seem to get out.
R: Carla, that is enough. Thank you. I rest my case.
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple
The Easter celebration is a reminder of your oneness with God, and therefore with one another, an annual commemoration of the Resurrection which was a major step in moving all of humanity forward toward awakening from the dream of separation. The Resurrection brought into humanity’s awareness the possibility of remembering the knowledge, hidden for eons beneath a cloak or veil of indifference and self-imposed ignorance, that you are One with God.
That memory is now arising into humanity’s collective consciousness and leading to an intense collective desire to return to Reality, to awaken from the dream or nightmare in which you have been ensconced since the moment you chose to experience separation from your divine Source. Truly that moment of choice was but a moment ago, but the environment of separation you invented in which to play your games had rules that had…
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