Anthony is away for the weekend. I have no work. So I am ‘catching up’ with just about everything! I just washed one week’s worth of dishes in the sink. And there are piles of laundry to address.
Stephanie has contacted me from the other side. She passed last Wednesday. She wanted me to buy a bouquet of flowers. Our local grocery store had them with a citrus theme, and a small but cute fake lemon in it. They were on sale, and very cheerful, like the bouquet with the sunflowers her family sent me after a particularly long and difficult case. It was by the graduation bouquets, and her thought is she ‘graduated’ and wants me to celebrate her completion of this incarnation with happiness and not sorrow. So I bought it. She decided that lemons will be her sign to me, for most of the time she was critically sick, she was bright yellow with jaundice. I know it sounds strange, but with yellow, you can’t miss it, and now between us it is ‘her’ color.
Today I worked with phyllo dough for the first time. It was fascinating. I think I still need to figure out how it works. We had some berry pie filling, and I made ‘turnovers’. I still don’t understand where the butter goes. I tried to get away with not using it, and I see now it’s important to brush the layers.
This is the first of the ‘creative’ things I’ve wanted to try for a while that I actually got to do.
I look forward to working in the garden in a little bit. My guides told me to ‘start from the bottom and work up’ on cleaning the house. I’ll get to it.
I also need to share something about my old crystal store. The larimar spheres were calling to me. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. When I returned, my friend Joseph G was working. He had an AMAZING experience with Team Doctors With Reiki. He had been really down around his birthday, and made a Reiki Request. It totally helped. The effects were immediate and lasting.
I went and held the spheres and felt a funny warmth in my heart. This is the feeling I get when a crystal is ‘right’ for me. A little dizzy, very supported, and this warmth in my heart center.
I knew I needed them. And for my own spiritual development, I needed these two stones–no matter what the price. Just like when I had to wear braces–I needed them. Or like some people need orthopedic shoes as children. They help me find my way.
A lot of people do not understand how much money I have spent, and time, in my growth and personal development as a spiritual being. Since before medical school I have frequented metaphysical shops, finding the tools I needed, for example, runes and divination cards, incense and candles–books galore!–to help me awaken. I have taken many classes too–all the way up to Karuna Reiki Master. They were not free.
I like to think of it as an investment. You will know when it’s Spirit and not your ego–when things just ‘happen’ and you ‘sense’ it is the right thing for you. Your heart center will let you know it.
Always keep growing, and finding the tools and support you need. When it’s really important, Spirit will guide you.
I also now am at a point where some crystals cry to me to take them home–they don’t want to be used by someone who doesn’t communicate with them. One on eBay did this. And it was on sale–twenty percent off. So I am giving it a good home. I used to save huge chunks of larimar this way, too. I would in some way ‘protect’ them against being misused.
Freeing The Butterfly
This one is difficult to share.
I invite you to stop reading whenever it is uncomfortable for you. I actually wrote all the updates above and kept them long on purpose, in order to keep this part from showing up in the blog alerts on blogfeeds.
Last night on FB I saw a video posted by an animal rights activist about how ‘dogs are better than people’. There was a dog ‘protecting’ a dead one in the street and traffic whizzed by while the person filmed it.
Only to me, it didn’t look like ‘protecting’.
It looked like the dog was trying to hump the corpse.
I read the comments, other people saw this too. Especially people who were very used to dog behavior. They said a dog ‘friend’ would howl, and lie next to the one that died. Not mount it. Other people viciously defended the dog’s behavior–saying it was ‘protecting’.
It was a trigger for my past life as a sex slave to witness this behavior.
I just called it a night and went to bed. As I was falling asleep, I said to Ross and my teams–I don’t LIKE having this imprint on my soul! (the Monarch program instills ‘things’ that ‘pass’ from one generation to the next, and one incarnation to the next.) I asked, ‘Am I going to be stuck like this forever? Having triggers from THEM?’
The good news is my teams healed me. They made it so I can’t remember anything more than ‘it happened’ and vague particulars. How it happened is they had me bring to the surface the very worst, and to view like a movie my whole life in that immediate past incarnation.
I was created for this purpose.
I was defiled at six months of age.
All I knew was sex. I never saw another child. Only adults. And try as I might, I cannot recall any of their faces. It was like grownups with no heads. (This was part of the programming).
I saw how I was taught to do what I did, each type of sex act. By age two I was singled out and had intensive training. By age four I was doing what I was meant to do, at all hours of the day and night, with total strangers.
I was like fugu. You know the deadly puffer fish that if it’s not prepared right it will kill you?
That is why I didn’t see that many people. In the ‘organization’ having sex with me was a ‘delicacy’.
With the women, I would not kill any of them.
But with the men, I was taught to extend the small penknife-like sliding ring I always wore on the index finger of my right hand–I was a ‘kitten’ and taught it was my ‘claw’–and would insert it deep into the neck of the man who was ‘with’ me. I would do it quickly, make a slice with all my might towards me about an inch, and instantly be covered in blood. I was told when to do this–if something didn’t happen, then this is what I was to do. Then people would come and take him away and clean me up. Sometimes I would see them having sex with his corpse.
Just like the dogs.
I didn’t understand and I didn’t know right from wrong because I was raised in this environment.
Last night my soul cried out to Creator for forgiveness for thinking that because I didn’t know or understand it was wrong, it was okay. I saw for the first time, it really was WRONG–and even though I needed to do it to survive–I had a choice and I did it. I was sorry for what I did.
I can’t remember any of it now, after the healing. I used to see it like a movie, feel things, and relive it.
It was a blessing and a miracle for which I am filled with gratitude at the mercy of The Divine for freeing me from this imprint from the Illusion which was on my soul.
When you are in the world of Those Who Do Not Have Your Best Interest At Heart, this kind of sick sexual thing is ‘normal’.
What I want you to know is that the ‘builders’ and the ‘beautiful people’ who look like this (photos are NOT necessarily Illuminati people):
Chances are they experience the dark world like the weird painted sex dude and just don’t talk about it. It is hidden.
And for every ‘Queen B’ beyond-say concert, it is a tribute and a nod to the power of Sex Magick.
This is what makes the Illuminati ‘go’.
They harness the power of sex to create power, riches, fame. They do this according to some ancient rituals of a religion people on the surface think is ‘long since dead’–the religions of Atlantis and Ancient Egypt–which has been kept under wraps and very much alive.
The awards shows like the Grammys and the Oscars…the halftime show for the Super Bowl–all are filled with the symbolism of this ‘art’–which is layered among practitioners of this ‘faith’–by people who have genuine charisma, beauty and talent.
There is metaphysical power in the sex act.
Sex itself has been downplayed by society, by our Puritan heritage and our Catholic teachings–to be something that is social, or necessary for propagation of the species–and to be hidden and frowned upon by this ‘love-hate’ relationship our society has with sex.
The reality is, during sex between a woman and a man (who are hopefully in love)–the Veil is absent. The quantum mechanics of the energy actually for a short time disrupts and dissolves the veil.
Further, within the Illusion, all life is the result of masculine and feminine combination for reproduction to propagate the species (actually, there are budding yeasts and other hermaphrodite species–not EVERYTHING everything but almost everything. And my apologies to my gay brothers and sisters who I believe ARE in love, and doing something important metaphysical besides reproduction, but I just haven’t been shown what it means in this particular lesson or any lesson to date…)…
It’s EVERYWHERE around you–both what the eye can see–and what is HIDDEN by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.
Why do I even mention this? What is the point?
It’s that in the Higher Realms, sex is different. It is perceived differently. It’s not ‘in your face’ but it’s more accepted a part of life than now. Just like Europeans look at it differently from Americans, but even MORE so.
In the Higher Realms, they know the power of it too, and it is used correctly.
Not that I can explain it. I’m still trying to get a grasp on all of it myself.
But for the record:
- sex is power
- the Dark Ones know this and keep it all to themselves
- they discourage the rest from having any inkling of what they are up to
- they encourage the rest to exploit sex without having a clue of what is possible through sex magick–it’s like they are leading the public down the wrong path on purpose
- they have deliberately embedded false perceptions of sex into society to keep the Veil as intact as possible (for example, the song, Icky Thump…and I’ll grant you, it IS icky to me too, to hear the neighbors upstairs! YUCK!)
- as we awaken this is going to have to change, and to go back to the original ‘perspective’ that Creator has for the rest of the solar system, galaxy, and all of Creation.