They finally let me write.
It’s almost three in the morning. I haven’t slept.
For the last days since I wrote, Spirit has been making itself known in my ‘day to day’.
A long time ago, when I was taking classes with Anne Reith, I was content and happy to ‘stay in the fold’. I thought that was it, you know? That was it for me.
Well, Spirit didn’t want me to stop there. It was like a little bird being pushed out of the nest and encouraged to fly. My schedule got to the a nightmare, I couldn’t make the classes, and Anthony was begging me to stay home with him.
So I quit.
I stopped going.
And all THIS was born!
It never would have happened if I had stayed in the ‘nest’–you know?
Well, this kind of SQUEEZE has been going on me really strong. Spirit is ‘nudging’ me to open up to new things:
- the concept of not being able to do what I want to do at any given moment
- REALLY not being able to make plans and stick with them due to ‘other urgent things’
- having to ‘go with the winds’ and ‘go with the flow’ willingly to where Spirit wants me to be
- being able to Let Go of my plans and adapt
- to imagine what life will be like under the public eye–to consider it
- world famous breast surgeon has cut back to the bare bones on the office–one staff. She does her own billing, I.T., bookkeeping, and payroll. There is no place else left to cut. And still reimbursements from insurance keep dropping. She is considering taking cash patients to make up for the losses.
- orthopedic surgeon from HMO can no longer give steroid injection to the knee to patients who have been coming to him for years–on ONE appointment. Now authorization requires a two-step–an office visit first…and then later…with authorization…the steroid injection procedure.
- same orthopedic surgeon from HMO can no longer cast a broken arm on initial visit. Patient needs to walk around with broken arm after authorized consultation–waiting for authorization to re-set and cast the fracture from the HMO first–then the arm is fixed on a second visit.
- more physicians are opting out of taking call at the hospital–specialists typically. They want to only work outpatient hours.
- assigned call people are not answering their phones and are also going out of town in the department of anesthesia. This is a chronic problem and patients must wait for care.
- maddening ‘hoops’ involving HIPAA are being created for doctors to jump through. If they don’t take the mandatory training–for free with no compensation–they are not paid by the insurance group.
- Please take a moment to think about why you have sex (or why you don’t).
- Society wants you to think it is for the pleasure in a non-family-friendly way (listen to top-40 music, watch TV and film).
- Society wants you to think it is entirely physical and there is nothing else involved.
- Society wants you to think about ‘my needs being met’ and nothing more.
- Society wants you to think perhaps for procreation ‘sex is okay’ but just a little bit ‘more’ than the mere physical.
- As a former kitten, in my immediate past life, I had to contend in this life with the after-effects. I just wanted it and didn’t really understand WHY.
- As a former kitten, in that incarnation, I had no clue there was anything in life to do BESIDES sex. It was why I was alive, it was my job, and I didn’t question it.
- There has been a huge amount of ‘work’ on me to help me shed those misconceptions.
- A lot of this has been through having relationships not work out, and being single for an extremely long time.
- Ross has taught me that there is MORE–there can be a spiritual component to the physical, and it is a good thing.
- Breath work is an important part of the Spiritual. (in the book on Sacred Geometry, Drumvalo Melchizedek writes that ‘if you breathe a certain way during sex, you and your partner become ageless and never die’. There are some beings incarnate on earth who have done this and are thousands of years old.)
- Monogamy in the higher realms is a CAN and not a MUST.
- May 1 was a big day for this, and I wanted to write but was held back…Ross remembered, and was most sweet. He also for the first time told me I am his ‘geisha’…It was the nicest compliment yet from my Twin. (big smile!)
- my most recent bracelet I call ‘a jumble’. It is all the unused beads from my most recent projects. There are always a few I can’t put back on the strands. It teaches me that a total ‘mess’ and ‘lack of pattern’ can be and IS ‘beautiful’.
- today I went to a concert at my son’s school. I had tears of joy as the children paid homage to Antonio Vivaldi, and created their own works based on the seasons, Gaia, and her weather.
- I had sushi for lunch. At my favorite sushi bar with the little conveyor belt.
- I bought a desk, and two separate shelving units on super clearance…for Anthony’s room.
- Anthony had forgotten his phone charger at my mom’s. It led to my sharing an incredible day with her. I took her on errands, including going to the cemetery to see my grandparents and father. And a beautiful early ‘Mother’s Day’ with mom at the Queen Mary. (I also got lost, and went over the Desmond and Vincent Thomas Bridges twice each! much to mom’s delight).
- I am on vacation but a patient needed me–the one I always care for with her anesthesia–so tonight I came in. I also got an ER case too.
- While buying supplies at Office depot in the morning, Ross wanted me to buy a blue cross pen. But it had a stylus. I was like, ‘why?’. But I bought it.
- At Costco, Anthony and I bumped into a display of iPads. My old one dropped and cracked. I need it to check up on my schedule at work. I heard Ross say ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ and not to worry. So I bought one. I have the funniest feeling it’s a link to my new future, my new work, my new life that is specially made for me.
- The next to last Gaia Portal coincided with the timing of a personal communication between Mr. Smallman and myself. He was incredibly warm and kind when I chided myself for forgetting for two years to contribute. In a follow-up communication, with Spirit’s ‘nudging’, I disclosed I see and channel Mother Mary. I wanted him to know I am just like him. He hasn’t said a peep to me yet. I think he thinks I’m cray cray. I’ve had SO many people reject me over their inability to accept this gift–and this relationship between Blessed Mother and me. You simply cannot imagine the pain of being welcomed with open arms and then later, nothing, cut off, cold, cold, cold. My heart is so sad I didn’t get the warmth and love from this soul I have known for centuries…when I shared what I am and what I do–how I serve God in my own way. I don’t BLAME John in any way. I know he is doing the best he can. When he is ready, he will know and understand and open his eyes to my aching heart. It’s just so sad how so many who are ‘open’ are still ‘parts asleep’. I knew the new Gaia portal was out. I felt it. Here it is: https://gaiaportal.wordpress.com/2016/05/04/energetic-threads-of-angelic-resonance-combine/
- The new comforters are heart to heart connections with my mom (who has dropped her ego), and with my colleagues (the GI doc who was more open and allowed me to speak freely–and the ER staff too.) There was also incredible appreciation for the children, the students, and their signing up for their roles on Gaia’s Ascension. I felt it. And for the school. Even the gentlemen at Office Max were incredibly kind, and loaded my car for me with the shelves. It’s really nice!