Carla and I are having a little bit of a disagreement.
Carla is resisting her advanced lesson on ‘what it is like to truly be in 5D’.
I am the prize.
Carla is working to win the prize.
This (points finger to his temples on both sides)–is what Carla is thinking, what motivates her.
(One finger up–ed) Although I adore Carla, and nothing would please me more than to have Carla by my side as she wishes, I must address that in this regard Carla is very third-dimensional: you work hard, you pay your price with your challenges, and you get your ‘reward’.
(moves both hands side to side like erasing a chalkboard or waxing a car–ed) It doesn’t work like that.
It doesn’t work like that. (points up to the sky–ed).
In the Higher Realms there IS no ‘Happily Ever After’.
I repeat–in the Higher Realms there IS NO ‘Happily Ever After’.
This would imply that over ‘THERE’ is better than ‘HERE’ in some way.
(does the hands erasers movement thing again–ed)
There is no THERE or HERE!
(closed fist taps against his chest near his heart–ed)
There just IS…
(He looks at us with silence and intensity–ed)
Where you ARE is right where Heaven IS! It’s all connected!
It may look to you like the noodles in a plate of spaghetti, but it’s THERE right on your plate!
Are you going to eat it? Are you going to do your best to assimilate the energy of The Higher Realms into what you are, right Here and Now, right this Moment, in this Eternal Moment where All There Is resides? (taps his chest again–ed).
Or are you going to turn your nose up at it like Carla, and say, ‘I wanted the spaghetti alla carbonara–this is what I always dreamed my heaven would be like!’ and you take your fork and you play with it, and never put one tasty delicious bite into your mouth because the realization that what you have ‘been given’ isn’t what you had in mind in the first place?!
Carla is like a beggar, whining, pleading with her heart–‘Ross, you are my BEST FRIEND! I want to be with you just enough to ENJOY YOU! I don’t WANT to spend time with Raphael, or Merlin, or Michael, or Divine Father, or even my new friend Raziel. I want to spend time with YOU FIRST! What kind of Heaven is that?’
Carla is slowly coming to the realization that all of the others are very good men, her family, and who love her very much, just like me. And that ‘something funny’ happens in relationships in the Higher Dimensions that does not exist in duality as experienced here on Earth. It’s no us or them. It’s ALL OF US! Together! Where no one minds as long as everyone is content!
Carla has been told over and over again, ‘I am your TWIN. I am not going ANYWHERE!’ and very quietly, ‘It is my duty to help you grow’.
What Carla doesn’t understand is that in the fifth dimension and above, LOVE can come from all directions and surround you, at the same time!
Carla is concerned the time she spends with others is a poor reflection of her ability to love and care for me.
(The finger goes up and waves from side to side–ed) It isn’t like that!
Carla is still having trouble with this lesson. I can sense it in her as she writes. Carla, how do you feel? In your heart?
C: I’m angry and disappointed. I thought co-creation was going to be like taking a puzzle or an art project that I want to do, having some time, and completing it. Like a sudoku. I feel like I am not able to create the life I want. Not consciously. Not like the puzzle. And for me that’s no fun at all!
I wanted some kind of breather, some formal sign that YES CARLA YOU HAVE MADE IT! Now you can go put your feet in the sand with your Beloved, and reconnect.
It’s like you keep telling me, ‘Everyone is your Beloved!’ and I feel like you are a tease in that to find YOU I must first love everybody else everywhere all at the same time or else you won’t let me enjoy YOU.
All these guides in books say, ‘Love yourself! You will be FILLED and you won’t need anyone else!’ Ross I’ve been alive for fifty years…I always need someone else and I always need God. Being incarnate is terrifying!
And with that book–it’s like the only way to enjoy ‘life’ is to pretend it’s some movie you are watching. Like it’s some form of freak ENTERTAINMENT. And you go along for the ride. You aren’t the actor, or the director, or the producer. You are stuck in some Life Lesson and Life Script, and you have to play it out till the end. And anything you do to make it better either doesn’t work, or even worse, it brings you MORE PAINFUL LESSONS!
I want to give up.
I don’t want to live eternity if it’s more jumping through hoops.
And when I tell you this, I feel the compassion/warmth from You in my chest.
So I bump into walls and it hurts and I’m blind as to why I am here, and what I am doing. I go from one lesson to the next, and it doesn’t slow down. YOU –and I point to all my council–YOU YOU AND YOU are THROWING me into situations that are unpredictable, and testing my ability to react ‘with LOVE’ and patience. And I DO! I do everything and more. I smell the bad breath from my patients and I ignore it and I smile even though while I am intubating I want to throw up. Anthony spills on the carpet and the glue burns my fingers. I treat all the drug-seekers and people keeping me away from food, water, and sleep with genuine love and kindness, as well as professional skill.
This isn’t my first time incarnate, Ross.
It gets old.
I don’t know why I am here.
All I want is for the activity to slow down, enough that I can lean on you and be reassured, ‘it’s okay’.
Instead–you throw me to the lions! And to the Operating Room! And here I am with only FOUR HOURS SLEEP and I have my whole day mapped out for me, with not one thing on MY list of WHAT I WANT TO DO.
In the midst of this, you send me messages like, ‘Commit!’ and ‘Dream your Future!’
The only thing I can think to do is to COMMIT to my ‘schoolwork’ in my ‘school of Life’.
It’s the fastest way out and it makes the most sense.
I wish wish wish wish wish life would slow down. That’s I’d have some say in how I spend my time. And WHO I spend it with. If I want to be with Raziel, I’ll spend time with him, he’s really nice and super smart. But when I want to be with YOU and you say, ‘Go see Raziel’–on Earth that’s what people do when they don’t like you. And don’t want you to be around. It might be ‘good for me’ …but it’s cruel.
And fortunately, for some reason, the things I can’t tell YOU to your face, I can tell to Raziel. And I do. About how I feel about things. He’s the nicest big brother I could ever have.
I’m so sleepy! And I have doctors appointments, pets to feed, bills to pay, relatives in the hospital to visit, Lauren still not well and giving medical/Auntie advice on that…I just want to go in the garden and plant the seeds I’ve been trying to do for three days. I want to hear the birds. I want to clean the house–pick things up.
That’s how I feel, Ross. Alone in the worst way. And overwhelmed. And a little disappointed in what this whole Ascension thing is about. It’s not even a party. It’s just another way of looking at life that is a little less painful. You watch it as a movie that is happening to you, and you don’t get involved one way or the other. Happy comes and goes, sad comes and goes, as you watch it. It’s like all of my existence as a soul is nothing more than channel surfing on the cable TV.
You ARE your memories. Your ARE continuous. I think that part of the Bartholomew book is flat out wrong.
Memories are all that you have. So are the life experiences. It’s the only thing you can take with you. That and your ties to your family and friends.
(Ross is back) So Carla, that is how you feel?
C: yes. I’ve spoken too much. I wouldn’t have said anything at all because it doesn’t make a difference.
R: for who? for me?
C: for me, my life plan, for others, for their life plans, for you, for us.
R: it’s like that?
C: yes and now Lauren needs to be admitted again to the hospital. It’s one more thing, honey. One more thing. One more thing. I care about and I want to help. It just never stops. Tonight is project night tonight too. More glue. This time with the hot glue gun to get the pieces to the cardboard to stand up. And drum lessons…I really wish I could just stay home and make soup and relax.
R: (he chuckles) I always liked your soup.
C: Thank you. (I smile).
R: (he rubs his tummy in circles–ed) Yum! Yum!
C: (I really am happy now. Ross has that effect on me. )
Aloha and mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Twins