About Sirian Heaven

I am not only a single mom but also a sirian starseed and a lightwarrior, incarnated on Earth for this time to help Gaia and Humankind during Ascension. I know my true origins, that I am the true incarnations of Lady Maria and Archangel Gabrielle. As my beloved Twin Flame said in his message, the time for me to be hidden is over.

Bring Out The Good — Gaia News Brief 11 February 2016 by Reiki Doc

Ash Wednesday

Spirit invited me to go to 6:30 a.m. mass.  I haven’t been in two years. Our church is all new. The places I used to go with Anthony, the building where he was baptized, is now a parking lot.

Some of the words have changed in the mass. I went since I was fourteen, every week, and now that I’m over fifty, they change the words. You are supposed to say ‘my fault’ three times, and also, instead of ‘also with you’ it is ‘and with your spirit’.

They also told me to repent and believe in the gospel, when the ashes were applied.

I had made a request of Creator, when I first woke up at 5:00 a.m., for all who were given the ashes on their third eye–to have it OPEN.  So they can see clearly, and have spiritual information given the way it is supposed to be.

This is why I was called to mass. To get the ashes. And to show my sincerity of my heart.

I fasted.

I took communion. It was a million years ago it seemed, where I counted on the blood and body of Christ to give me strength!  I would stop a priest in the halls of the hospital, and ask him for some on the spot!

It felt good to take communion again.

I realized the people present were doing the best they can. They have no clue of the corruption besides the sex scandals (by the way, the three in the area were all Jesuits, who were in lawsuits back in the day…).  Together with Ross, we gave the symbol to resolve karma to everyone there. He said they will do great things, these souls who were at the mass where I was today.

More or less, the system ‘works’, to help people find their way Home–to give them a place to practice their faith, their spirituality…but it could be a whole lot better, you know? It’s not great.

However, I really looked forward to the meditation after communion. It was my favorite part. I saw Ross smiling.

Behind him were some guys I didn’t recognize. I asked him ‘who are they and why are they here?’

They were the apostles.

I said, ‘I thought they hated me?’ and was caught off guard. They were all smiling, and had never once treated me with kindness and love when we were incarnate. I was the enemy, the woman, the ‘side kick’ that wouldn’t go away…

This was the first time they acknowledged my place in the grand scheme of things, and offered me full respect and acceptance in their hearts.  I was deeply moved, and filled with gratitude that at least a part of my nightmare is ended.

I also was delighted to see the eucharist on display at the end of mass. I moved to the very front, and spent time in adoration.  Tears rolled down my face.  It is one of my favorite things I loved to do, adoration of the eucharist. I would sign up for an hour, so He would never be alone. There was a schedule. Lent was one of my favorite times of year…a drawing closer to things that count. Today I offered my complete and full acceptance and approval, of the mysterious plan our Creator has, and although for me personally my part was quite painful, it is complete, and I can focus on what’s right and good from here on out.

There Is No Magic

I bought a book of Houdini’s secrets, along with drawings…but that’s not what I am talking about.

My Aunt Edna used to make all kinds of jello desserts for family gatherings.  My favorite was the one with layers and layers like a rainbow, with each color separated by cream cheese.

I want you to have a picture of that in your mind as I start to talk about the spiritual ‘stuff’.

We are on surface Gaia, in the Illusion, are we not?  Are you still with me? Good.

Then on top of us, in energy, where we can’t see, are the astral planes. I supposed another similar layer is the etheric plane. I’m not sure exactly what layer is where, but above us there is the place we go between lives which is very similar to here.

Above it are all the many dimensions and layers possible of Heaven.

So–starting from our feet, which we know and see and experience, there are finer and finer ‘layers’ of what we can’t see, but can experience, and ‘sense’ as we go ‘up’.

Those who work with magic, both from the ‘Light’ or ‘White’ side, as well as the ‘Dark’ or ‘Black’ side (the latter being Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart)–have figured out the way the system works in the layer or two above ours, and also within ours.

As far as we can ‘see’ from our perspective, it ‘works’…

However, it is not without consequence in the karma of the soul.  Good deeds elevate the vibration of the soul. And ‘bad choices’ lower it. It might LOOK like one ‘gets away with it’ for an incarnation or so, but the time will come  where someone who has hurt others, and enjoyed it, is going to have their due.

How can there be ‘no magic’, you might ask?


Creator gives the life force to everyone. Just like the rain, it falls on the just, and the unjust just the same.

Creator doesn’t have to give it.

In a pinch, on a whim, Creator has the potential to take away not the life breath of the incarnate, but the very substance which creates the soul itself.

Everything else, including ‘the dark side’, is a testament to the eternal love of Creator–to let ‘all things play out’ so we may evolve as souls with our Consciousness.

Sooner or later, each soul is going to figure it out, and find their way home.

For the very few, who are unwilling to change–and have refused all offers of rehabilitation–souls who are so deep into hurting innocent ones–so much so that they are angry and resentful at The Divine–then, their soul is stripped of all the life force that is holding it together, and it merges with Creator–to the sadness of everyone who knows and understands what is going on.

Therefore, on a ‘larger’ scale, this ‘magic’–light or dark–and ‘powerful’, is in Reality, nothing more than an Illusion,  just like with Houdini and his great escapes…

What To Do?

I spent time today at the ‘Land’, a local ‘resort’ where I had my first job. I’m sure if you’ve ever been to Southern California, you have visited it. It is a total tourist place.

Why am I not naming it? To be under the radar from all those web engineering things where large companies look things about themselves up…for ‘market research’…

For four years now, I have done clearings of this place and seen things with my third eye you wouldn’t imagine. Just today, I was on a ride, um, the pirate one, and into my consciousness flashed the images of what happened behind the wall –people in red and white robes in like a circle, chanting, doing horrible things, and seeing flaming torches.

The very ride itself, is structured according to their ‘religion’–including the burnt offering at the end. Have you ever wondered why every ride has some explosion or fire thing in it? It’s like a ‘sacrifice’ that really isn’t one, but is symbolic.

So on a deeper level, one that most people are completely unaware–this place gives homage to The Other Team, if you get my drift. Every ride. Every restaurant. Every everything…

If you don’t believe me, next time you go to the Ben-Gah-L Barbecue, look up at the design over the ‘oven’ thing you can see that cooks the meat. It’s a modified star, two points up.  This restaurant is a ‘holocaust’–not to be confused with the one in world war 2–but an ‘offering’ that is used in their ‘faith’.

So Carla, you might ask, why do you even GO?

Because it’s a place many people go to celebrate birthdays. Today was a special day. So I went.

Also with the amount of ‘cleansing’ I have done on this place, it’s good to keep tabs on it.

I was delighted to see how few really scary things the people were wearing. Six months ago it was all Maleficent and worse. Even the tattoos. Today, the people were much higher vibration in the crowd. There was only one crying child–and his mother was soothing him. We had the special needs people there, and really nice family members and caregivers today too.

Which brings me to the same thing as the mass…people are doing the best they can, and mean well. They bring their families to be together and have fun.

I was praying the whole time! I never stop. But this time it was prayers of gratitude and blessing for what I saw, and with hope for Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart to stop their practices far beneath the surface, and also, what they do with the astral planes, around that place.

It’s time to stop.

Many times a very ‘happy’ place will overlay a very ‘dark’ place, to escape detection. People pick up a ‘vibe’ when things are extremely low vibration. They get the ‘chills’ or the ‘creeps’. With all the activity, and the emotion, going on in the actual amusement park–above–where below is found the number two headquarters for this religion (second only one place which if you have your thinking caps on you might figure it out where it is.)–which has gone completely unnoticed.

This brings me to the last part–I’m sorry, but people are making the hand gestures for Team Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart ‘cool’.  I’ve seen a little girl in a car commercial do it. I’ve seen Bindi Irwin do it on her big ‘win’. At the Super Bowl, Gaga and Beyonce and Bruno all made that sign.

When you know what to look for, their Team is flashing their ‘gang signs’ all over the place, to each other, on the buildings…it’s so totally obvious! It’s blatant.

So here we are souls totally surrounded by these ‘magicians’, souls of the ‘light side’ who are Awakening and by doing so, are being released from the control. of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.

This is good.

And although I would have LOVED for people to clue in on the Halftime Show and the Super Bowl and the Commercials–all with an ‘agenda’–I was pleased by how many just said about the game, ‘it was fixed’.  Their emotional investment was like, not even a blip.

Remember, Energy Flows where ATTENTION Goes is a maxim for any type of ‘magic’, light or dark.

And also, The STRONGEST energy ‘wins’.

So by people saying ‘it was fixed’ and not caring–poof!–there goes the driving power in one big fizzle…

So, when we step back, and look at the BIG picture:

  • Creator is all-loving but is not unaware of the situation down here.
  • We have Ross and all the many teams who are highly advanced to help us break free of the control of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart
  • People ARE waking up enough to raise the vibration in the collective
  • Other things like vaccines and GMO and Roundup are really not fooling anyone at this point.
  • We are all brothers and sisters, worthy of love of Creator and one another–even people on ‘the other team’. Unfortunately, dealing with them is best handled by souls with experience and expertise in this delicate work of rehabilitation. So just love in general sent their way is a good thing. We don’t need to roll up our sleeves and do the work for THAT one! Isn’t that great?
What we have is an organization who took control by taking advantage of our weaknesses. They kept changes to just under the threshold where we would take notice or panic. They kept the changes SLOW, as in one a generation…planning things out for their children’s children to carry out for them after they die.  They appealed to our senses and our emotions, making us lulled into thinking ‘everything is hunky-dory’ when in fact, it was the opposite. So we were ‘tricked’…
But on a karmic level, we can’t plead ‘ignorance’ to the whole plan of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.  Yes we were tricked. But as a collective, we did not have the moral fiber to stand up and call them on it for tricking us.  Anyone who was deeply close to spirit, would make the call a long time ago. And since most people are not exactly ‘deeply close to spirit’ like Yogurt Peanuts (see two days ago’s blog) is…there will be something owed by us all, all of humanity, for not stopping the torture and abuse that went on at the hands of Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart for as long as it did.
Forgiveness is important.
So is having trust in our teams, and in the plan, and in your heart.
Carla has written a lot here. It is all starting to coalesce in her mind, in her Consciousness, about ‘how things work’.
You might not be ready to hear it.
You might not be ready for what she has to say.
If you read this, and blow it off, it is because you just ‘haven’t got there yet’.
That is why I am here.  To help in this department. I have and I did and I do…all I can…to take on the karma for those who know not what is going on, in a higher sense.
Just read it, and allow it, even if you are not understanding it at first glance, to let the information soak in.
Carla planted the seeds.
Your Guides and our teams are going to water them.
And stand back!
These are going to make Jack in The Beanstalk seeds’ results look TINY! (he smiles and rubs his hands together not flat but bent–ed)
(clap clap!)  I know you were waiting for me to do this! (he smiles)
Aloha and Mahalos,
Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Conflagrates
P.S. ROSS came up with that word! LOL. It fits! We are seraphim. <3 xoxoxox

The Crossroads — Gaia News Brief 10 February 2016 by Reiki Doc

Work isn’t good.

I am most careful to live within my means and keep financial commitments low.  In anesthesia, each day you work could be your last. Another group could go to the hospital, sign a contract, and everyone in your group that you know would be out.

My mentor Jonathan taught me well. He smiles and says, ‘every day you work, you win!’

My patients are awesome. So are the surgeons, nurses, and surgical technologists.

It’s my peers.

Some of them are nice, through and through, and will help you.

Others take care of number one, and cause a great deal of confusion and delay because of their chasing the almighty dollar, which is sad, because medicine is a helping profession. And with this attitude, they are not HELPING the profession to come across well to any of our associates, colleagues, and patients!

It’s like digging a hole one step closer to having it be our last day, for all of us.

I literally RAN to and from the ICU to squeeze in an emergency case for a specialist by having permission and taking advantage of a surgeon who is always late…he is a friend, and had to wait for me for ten minutes.

The BEST part of the day was talking with my cardiac surgeon, heart to heart, and really getting to know him during the case.

He feels that cancer is systemic disease, and all this chemo and radiation aren’t really doing the patient any good, for the price they pay both in side effect and financial ruin. He said if you have an eight month life expectancy, and you stretch it out to twelve months, that’s a fifty percent increase in lifespan…but the quality of it?

He wants to be cremated. And in the coffin he wants to be in scrubs (to be practical). He wants his gloves on him and an extra pair of surgical gloves just in case, in his size.

I think that’s adorable.

I shared with him about how the ER doc told me the oncologist YELLED at him hysterically because a patient who was in early stages of the death process was sent upstairs to the ICU to finish–and the oncologist was entitled and upset that there wasn’t a chance to be notified for him to get that one last dose of chemo in!

Can you say MONEY?


I also told him about Sacred Crossings Death midwifery, how the funeral is at home, and how there is support from the death midwife to the family throughout the impending death. This is not hospice, it’s empowering, and a movement all in its own.

He liked it.

I was on top of my game today. I got in a double lumen tube that wasn’t easy, and everything went very well. I had that warm feeling in my heart of a job well done.

I was grateful.

I had to wait and run around and change rooms so much, by the end of the day I was frazzled.

My cell phone turned on my app that does this, all by itself! LOL

It totally helped.
So here I am, blowing out of the hospital at three p.m.   I have all the time in the world, you know?
Ross wants me to go check out some new housing developments in my area. Some new construction.
So I went.

This is where I am at with Yogurt Peanuts in his book. It’s about three-quarters finished now. He’s a lot more reasonable at this point, and he really portrays the courage of the big JC towards the end.

I had to die a thousand deaths to think again about homes. And moving.

I realize all the apartment life I’ve lived in has caused harm to my soul; I recall the military man who lived next door to me when I was a surgical resident, who used to get drunk and bring men home for loud sex. It was so stressful to me to hear the loud music, and the thumping, and the men’s voices moaning really loud.

Where could I go? I was living in subsidized low-income housing because I was an intern…

I’ve had roommates who were mean. I’ve cried for no reason, even when I lived alone, because I am so sensitive to the ENERGIES from everyone around me…

But there were some good times too. In San Diego, I loved the Korean children across the hall. And I also enjoyed seeing the wet suits drying on the balcony my apartment faced. I forgot about all the stairs I had to climb…to carry EVERYTHING from the car all the way UP.

So I drove around, looking.

I was aware of the energy in my high heart, interacting with the land. It felt good!

I realize, as an energy worker, I have ‘needs’ –that have to do with the collective in my area, the sunlight, the wind, nature–much much more than the school systems and how my house actually looks.

I need to be ‘replanted’ in a different energy ‘pot’.

It has nothing to do with my wishes, or my dreams, or even my lessons.

It just IS.

Ross coached me through it.

He said, ‘where are you NOW, in this moment, Now?’

To be honest, that is where I live. In this moment.

I noticed a lot of the houses sure stop looking ‘now’ in ten years or so. They looked awful.

I also noticed how the homes are more and more ‘on top of each other’, which energetically for me is disastrous.

He had me watch my high heart as I drove home the long way. I had trouble because the land and the energies started to mix with the memories of Anthony. His whole life flashed before my eyes–driving him to his dad’s for visits, the gym, the place we swim on Fourth of July and watch fireworks, our restaurants…

I went to the store Ross as had told me to do. I have only one assignment besides the grocery store from Ross, one that has to do with the home–to email copies of the inspection to two people, key people.  I asked him, bluntly, ‘well, Ross, besides my house falling apart is there any good reason for me to move?’ and I HEARD myself saying that, and was embarrassed at how human I am to think it!

So in the car, in the parking lot at the grocery store, I prayed to Creator.

I let go.

Tears flowed.

I acknowledged I don’t know what I am doing, I am lost.  And even though my name is on the deed and I pay taxes, the home I live in ISN’T really ‘mine’–it’s from Creator. Everything else is Illusion.  I asked for clear direction, and for guidance, day by day.

For Grace and Ease.

My local store, is a chain. It’s not a reason to stay, as comfortable as I am with it. And sure enough, both the Jamba Juice and the Panda Express are now removed–two things that made life pleasant for us.

It’s getting harder to find some of my favorite foods too.

The neighborhood is changing.

And right when I came into the store, whose face was on the realtor ad? The lady who bought my next door neighbor’s house and did all the changes!

I have her realtor’s license number now too. It was on the fine print in the ad poster.

I don’t want to sure anybody. But at least I know her name, all of it, and it was ‘shown’ to me too.

I will humbly thank Creator for being my parent, each day, and ask for one more day, in my home, where my little one was born eleven year ago, and brought so much joy to my life.  No matter where we are, it is OUR home.

I realize this California living is pretty much the same no matter where your house is located, and whether it is an apartment or a house with a yard, it’s still the weather, the freeways, the the strip malls near your house that ‘make’ your life…and friends and family too.

Ross wanted you to know how my neighborhood is in the suburbs, with lots of families.

He wants you to know how ridiculous it is, for I, a single mother, to be placed HERE, of all locations! In a family-oriented community.

He nods as I say to him, ‘I think I was sent here to balance the energies’…and ‘I think my mission here is done’.

I recalled how my first house, where I grew up, I still miss the closet that was built in, with the two drawers under it. The sweet peas and the windows in my room to let the fragrance in. And the yard that was so big.

But when we moved when I was fourteen, I made new friends. My room was better for me, and for studying. And I found my first boyfriend too.

I recall moving to Berkeley, and again, to San Diego, and starting a new life each time.

Sometimes that is good for you.

So I have to share the most humbling part…where I live is so good, with so many reminders of my grandparents, and with nature, and neighbors, I cried and acknowledged how God made it so perfect, and chose it just right, for me.  And I asked, incredulously, how could God ever do the same thing for me again?! Lightning doesn’t strike twice, you know? How could it?

And at the same time, I could hear myself, as an independent observer, and I realized how this fear is completely unfounded.

God can and will take care of me, for the highest good, in the next phase of my life, with Grace and Ease…for all of my needs, including the energy ones.

It sure would be nice to have a shorter commute.

It sure would be nice not to have to worry about paying my Association and having to fight them tooth and nail to get anything done.

It would be nice to have a house I know is geologically stable.

I want an older house, a fixer upper, I can design as I want, with room for a garden…I don’t want someone else’s ‘updates’ because they look like hotels to me.  I’d like a place that’s a good energy fit. The beach area where I could have chickens would be nice too.

The last thing? After reading apartment reviews on YELP–you can’t pick your neighbors. And when it’s intolerable, the things they do, you just have to move someplace else.

Homes are temporary within the Illusion. My True Home is right where Yogurt Peanuts said–in that formless place of meditation where you ‘go’.

No wonder why He is a Saint, and I am not. LOL. (If you know me personally you will understand the inside joke…)

One Last Thing To Harp On:

This article made my day. It dovetails in with all that Yogurt Peanuts writes about. How Creator loves all of the family, even those who choose darkness. Through Karma, they will find their way, eventually.

This video also makes me feel better about what I saw on Sunday too. I think the best part of this video, is how he says there’s a whole ‘left hand turn’ to Hinduism, as well as the ‘proper’ one…I set forth that the symbols are eternal, such as the flower of life–and depending on the intention of how it is used, it can be for the left hand turn, or the ‘right’ one.  Incidentally, I am getting email ‘blasts’ from a group linked to Cobra, which calls itself the Sisterhood of the Rose. I was really surprised to hear about the Brotherhood of the Rose–in the video–is explained to be another name for Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.  I have broken all ties with that group for over two years now; I was mistaken about it. Once I found out, away I went, along with a lot of other good people.

Everyone can heal from this.

I know of three possibly five (if my intuition is right) people who are heavily influenced and from families who are officially Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart. One had multiple personalities, was a nurse I respected who confided this to me–as well as how her father would get her and her sister pregnant and then ritual the baby when she had it. She had counseling and was involved in the ministry. She totally healed from Ritual Abuse and wants to help others.  I just pulled up her file in Psychology Today–she doesn’t once mention her past, however, she does state she is trained in EMDR, a form of trauma treatment. The other two are surgeons I have worked with closely. One has the phone number to the office 6666! I just pick it up.
I do my best to be loving, patient, nurturing, and solid in my vibration whenever I am with or think of these people.

It’s their only hope.

I’m so glad Ross did what he did, and how he did it to set people free. He has my respect, gratitude, and admiration. I’m so glad to be in the vibration of Now, and close to him.


That’s my Carla!

Always philosophical.

Always pushing the edge of her present understanding.

I told her when she walked into her kitchen from the garage, that she is the most humble person I know…

Do you know where we live? Up here?

In a palace.

I kid you not, a total Cinderella fairy tale kind of existence, by the looks from the outside, but it is home to us, Carla and me, and also our family.

That she would give thanks for one more day in her townhouse, and humbly OBEY the will of Creator when it comes to her only thing she has worked her whole life to get, and to lay it in his hands and not look back, is a form of Renunciation which is in the alternate path to Spiritual Awakening (holds the finger up–ed) that is, OBEDIENCE.

Both poverty and obedience are ways to experience Source directly, for each ‘clears away’ the ‘veil’ of things that are ‘in the way’…Yogananda Paramahansa (Carla’s Yogurt Peanuts is her nickname for him) to ‘realization of the self’.

This is a DIFFERENT kind of ‘self-knowledge’ than is promoted by Those Who Do Not Have Our Best Interest At Heart.  This, which I show you, is the only one that exists, that is truly eternal, for all time.

Carla’s obedience, both to me and to Divine Father who she spoke to today, and also in her heart to Divine Mother–is from a place of adoration and loving acceptance of her place in ‘the grand scheme of things’–Carla is always wanting to ‘help’ and ‘heal others’ as well as paying very close attention to healing herself so she can be a true healer too.

All of this (waves arms around his head) comes at a price:  the Truth.

It means knowing one plus one makes ‘four’ in a profound sense, a spiritual one, that has nothing to do with ‘reality as you know it’.  (he points his finger to the wooden table, and taps it three times–ed)

(now he points up and looks up-ed) for REALITY as I know it is a wonderful thing.

That is why I was sent.  For YOU to have the opportunity to experience it.

And you shall!

(clap clap!–ed)  Now Carla go and get some dinner! It is eight o’clock and you are not me yet! You have need to eat! (he smiles and chuckles at his own joke–ed)

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Jubilants


Dragonfly Empowerment available now!!!

The silverplatinum flame


Source of the picture: Wikipedia

This attunement was channeled by Brenda Hanlon.

This wonderful attunement will connect you to the energies of Dragonflies.

“Dragonfly embodies a stripping away of all the beliefs that say “we can not do this or that”, or achieve a dream or goal, it is to remind us that anything is possible when we really get the understanding that we are part of spirit and as such we have the power to manifest anything that we desire.

The dragonfly is the keeper of dreams, the knower within that sees all of our true potential and ability. The dragonfly strips away the illusions that say to us we cannot achieve our dreams and goals that we are not worthy or capable when in fact it is our birth right and our true power to create anything we choose!”

Energy exchange for this attunement is 15 Euro.

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Clearing Self Sabotage Reiki available now!

The silverplatinum flame

306511_145459315608906_601319150_nPicture source unknown or I would give credit to the artist.

This attunement was channeled by Linda Colibert

This is another one that helped me!!!

“We all have times when we feel like everything is going wrong, and it seems that there is a dark cloud hanging over our heads. During these times, we can often blame others, or ourselves for anything and everything that happens. More often than you might realize these negative thoughts create a subconscious mindset that sabotages our greatest hopes, dreams, and plans for success.

Clearing Self Sabotage Reiki will help you to clear out the things that are hidden in your subconscious bringing them to the surface so you can see and recognize them, and release them. You may or may not feel the pain of old hurts and wounds as they surface, but it is most likely that you will simply see them as…

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Guilt Release Empowerment available now!

The silverplatinum flame


Picture source unknown or I would give credit to the artist.

This attunement was channeled by Stephanie Brail.

This attunement can help you release guilt and feelings of being guilt that are imprinted in you without having any guilt.

I must say that this attunement I received not long ago helped me tremendously in releasing strong feelings of being guilty of the mess Gaia and her people are in now. I work since two days now intensely wioth these energies and I feel so much better now and had a major breakthrough.

“This energy can move stuck guilt and help create shifts where new behaviors can take place more easily.

Sometimes we feel guilty for something that really isn’t our fault. This happens a lot to children who have emotionally abusive parents. In this case, the guilt is misplaced and needs to be released completely.

Guilt of this sort is…

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YP — Gaia New Brief 9 February 2016 by Reiki Doc

It was a long day, much like usual.

It was a long case, much like usual.

The gap before the case began was even longer, the surgeon was one hour late.

I read–as my neurosurgeon  (the assist who sat next to me in the doctor’s lounge) said, ‘A non-digital book’.

It made me sad.

I read it to feel close to Ross.

It’s by ‘him’ (see photo) whom I will refer to–to stay under the ‘radar’–of the ‘self-reel-iz-ation’ folks, as Yogurt Peanuts:

The reason I am sad is that the tradition which produced Yogurt Peanuts, is the same which ultimately trained my husband Ross…has a thousands of years long-standing tradition which is completely devoid of women.

When it comes to the topic of ‘renouncing’ worldly things, I am vexed.

Who fed him?

Who fed Ross?

The brothers?

Or was it the women who knew they were holy men and felt obligation/kindness to them, and donated food?

It’s the same old Martha and Mary story, which to me is one of the worst in the bible. Martha speaks up–HEY! I kind of need some help over here! And Mary is just sitting here listening…we are the hosts–HELLO????

In my view, Martha was smartly slapped in the face and continues to be slapped in the face for all time.

Why didn’t the fucking MEN get off their lazy ASSES and wash a stupid dish when they were in Martha’s house?!

Couldn’t it WAIT, the damn lecture?!

Were  women REALLY chattel?

I think not.

In the Essene tradition women were EQUAL.

Mary, who was a Virgin–was a political title to mean a woman who was free and had financial and political ‘weight’….

It didn’t have anything to do with sexual relations. A Virgin was, in my understanding, the equivalent of a Freeman–a freed slave. She owned property and didn’t have to be married to anyone to keep it.

I don’t care about the culture for Yogurt Peanuts and Martha and Mary!

What I care about is that Divine Father let women SUFFER for all these years!!!


Even in this day and age women SUFFER!  With all the baby daddies and the baby mamas–life is cruel…filled with harsh realities.

And what gets me is that Yogurt Peanuts died a SAINT.

He didn’t rot.

It was ‘most unusual’ according to the mortuary. No signs of decomposition.

He saw Jesus and they hung out.  That’s why he wrote the book. (I’m on the second volume).  In their meditation thing the big JC would just pop right in, like I have heard he does with the high-ranking people in LSD (on purpose, again, to stay under the radar–a VERY political and powerful religious organization)…

I was pretty upset with Yogurt Peanuts, all of the ‘tradition’ Swamis before him, and I asked, ‘show me ONE woman! ONE! Where is she???’

That women, because of their sex, would be DENIED spiritual training is beyond my comprehension!!!

It is the lowest of the lowest of the low…

And yet, he died a saint.

He left his body at will.

And it didn’t rot.

I rattled the cages of a whole lot of holy people today in Spirit.

My demand? (I was asked, what do you want?)

I want an amend.

I want lots and lot and lots of them from everyone who ever took advantage of a seamstress for her talents, of a cook, of a nurse, of a cleaning woman, of anyone who ever helped their Ashram things run smoothly and was denied a piece of bread (spiritual teaching and encouragement).

I ask this for all time, for all dimensions, for all universes, for all of Creation!

Yogurt Peanuts might have made the ‘jump’  from his hierarchy and legacy to include women here in Los Angeles, where there is freedom, and for this, I thank him.

But for all the rest?

Meh. (I shrug)

And yes, I have forgiven them for being assholes and denying human beings ‘bread’.

I also give great appreciation to the traditions handed down by women, from the hula, to wise women of every walk of life–who kept the ways of old alive for us both men and women to enjoy today.

This part of Full Consciousness is excruciatingly painful to my heart.

With mindfulness, one can achieve both the divine and the mundane all with an open heart and very close connection to Creator.

Look at myself, I never stop praying!

After the ecstasy, the laundry, I think it was Jack Cornfield or someone said it…

Please give a moment, in your meditation, to give thanks as an ‘amend’ to all the women who were denied education, spiritual training, and the opportunity to grow with their souls–because of the status quo of ‘the times’.

Your Lady Gaia Sophia thanks you.



I wash the dishes.

So does Anthony.

I also take out the trash, when I am home with Carla.

All of us pitch in…because we know as Galactic Citizens that ‘many hands make light work’ and ‘no one is better than the other’.

When there is resentment, whether it is rightful or not, the vibration is lowered for all of the collective.

Carla is coming to terms with our past, in a ‘finer sense’.

Her anger is appropriate given her eyes of her training, and where she is now, deeming something ‘intolerable’ when there simply was no other way in our time when I was incarnate with her.

Everyone has a trigger point.

Everyone has a ‘sore spot’ and in Ascension, no matter how much we grow, there is always a little part that is lagging.

It is the last bit of the ego, the survival, the ‘fairness’…to go.

There is a judgement.

When there is love, when there is Bliss, when there is union with God 24/7–it is like water rolling off a duck’s back, for Carla to find injustice in the way I was trained, and also, my colleague Yogananda Paramahansa, who wrote a book about me.

I am calm.

I am always calm, now that I am in Spirit.

Oh, I blasted several times with my light to calm and sedate her while Carla was in her ‘rant’ at the stars above and all of us Ascended Masters for our ‘elitist ways’…yet it is Carla who has blocked out all of the holy Goddesses, with the exception of those incarnate she knows, and perhaps a little of Lakshmi.

Is Carla right and I am wrong?  Or vise versa?

The answer is this–we are not even on the same page when it comes to this issue!

I see the big picture, the whole, and how it fits.

Carla’s log in her eye, is that she doesn’t enjoy to work with the Divine Feminine in the form of the Goddesses (hence the term, Godette )…and here she is crying out over a little ‘speck’ in all of history, over what is passed.

What is now, is that Carla has an opportunity to learn with the best of us, both masculine and feminine embodiments of Light.

All of us are available.

What went on with Carla and Haniel is only the tip of the ‘problem’…or…as Mother Teresa would say, of the ‘gift’…

I wish Carla a good night, rest, and much happiness once she relieves herself of this blockage.

I will admit, it is difficult to be on the outside looking in, incarnation after incarnation.

It makes one a little testy and upset.

Carla is the most vocal one I know, who is willing to speak her mind, especially for the downtrodden.

This I admire in her.

(clap! clap! –ed)

That is enough of our ‘dirty laundry’ in spirit for tonight. (he smiles, to know our slang–ed)

Carla try to get some rest. You are working all too hard honey. I can feel your frustration where I am honey.

I love you.

No matter what.

Good night.

I am sorry for the unfairness to the women who have born all these uncaring and unattached spiritual men, who in turn denied them their birthright, their knowledge of the soul.(mystic esoteric education).

This was not the way for the mysteries that were guarded by the women–they taught both the women and the men, in the old ways…which are Blessed and shall always BE Blessed.

Aloha and Mahalos,

Ross and Carla
The Reiki Doc Couple


Divine Mother My Journal February 08, 2016 – The last resistance

The silverplatinum flame

Log Entry Earth Time February 08, 2016, 08:24.15 pm CET



I might have had a breakthrough last night. In the late evening I experienced a big sudden tiredness. From my experiences over the last year I knew that more mergings were happening, big ones. I wasn’t able to do much and decided to lay down for a nap. I was dozing a bit and then contemplating about my situation. When I woke up yesterday I felt again a big sadness but obviously not all my own. Before I became so tired I did some more releasing during some flushes and empowerments. They were helping and when I was in my bed and thinking, the sadness was gone, I could feel only love and lightness in my heart.

Then I read the new Saul message via John Smallman: Love always forgives errors.
Suddenly I knew there was more for me…

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