Loving At Work
It’s so nice there at work now! I don’t mind the long hours. Neither do my colleagues. And we truly enjoy serving our patients.
The cases are difficult, challenging…and things go well.
Yesterday a surgeon said to me, with a smile, ‘I like the way you think!’ (I had made the ‘twilight sleep’ a ‘snoring sleep’ on purpose, and asked him to please agree with me–wink wink–that the patient was to be told they were ‘awake and comfortable’ throughout the procedure. This is to expedite the surgery, so there would be no movement of the surgical field, and also, in compassion for the very nervous patient.)
We anesthesiologists in our group were asked at the last minute to cover for the widower in the group, who was still out of the country visiting his deceased wife’s family–not one but three people, possibly more–volunteered to take his first call.
Ross and I
For the last two days we have been very close. He said since we are going to be together forever we might as well take the time to get to ‘know one another’. ❤
I like his jokes.
I also am close enough to him to have my deepest concerns and fears about us come out.
Would you believe a part of me has felt ‘thwarted’ for all these years since he transitioned, because I wanted to kiss his boo-boos for him, with love, and just be caring like that to him? I prepared his body for burial, but was in too much shock for this important gesture of love…in our last incarnation together.
So for the last two days I have been either held in his arms, just letting myself realize the nightmare is over…or randomly kissing his ‘boo boos’.
Yesterday was a first where he held up a finger and said, ‘here Carla, this part hurts’ and I kissed it for him. Then he pointed to his arm or some other place, and I kissed it too.
We are working though our trauma now as a couple, and it is deeply healing for us both.
I had a very long post-call day. It was two p.m. and I needed lunch.
On the way home, I just wanted home and bed. Ross suggested my favorite vegan restaurant, but I just wanted home.
Then he suggested another vegan one.
I told him that even though I’m tired, I respect him as my partner, and I will go out of my way to do what he asks of me.
So I found some back route, drove past a real estate lawyer too (bonus!), and parked the car…only I couldn’t find the place! I looked all over…I guess it was out of business but nothing even looked like I remembered.
This was at the Camp.
I DID see, what I had manifested–I have wanted to rest in a hammock for two days, and wow! There one was! (It felt wonderful).
There was also an Italian restaurant (I am now one percent fluent due to Duo Lingo app–I adore it!) so I enjoyed nature, and being out of the hospital, and not quite home yet with my responsibilities.
I took MANY photos of the area. It was the perfect lighting, and I was very happy to walk around after my meal, taking shots.
My photographic eye has been noticed in my blog work (I use a photo service as well as my own) and now two days in a row my own photos I have shot have been uploaded to other ‘papers’ on Twitter. This pleases me very much…
Ross also showed me a beautiful boutique.
This is significant, and I am almost in tears.
I have NEVER shopped at a boutique, because they are expensive. The ones in Berkeley by my school were like, WAY out of my budget. The ones here cost even more.
But this one, Pùrre, was affordable. There was a blue and white tee shirt dress with the name of my old counselor–‘almost’ on the label. I wanted it for a beach cover up but it didn’t fit right. There were organic natural products, jewelry. I bought one eighties’ style blouse made of tee shirt material. It has a tie at the neck…it’s the color I wore to my bridal shower, and will add a little ‘something different’ to the jeans I always wear.
I was so glad I found this surprise, this chance to explore…
By the way the vegan restaurant was across the street, at the LAB Anti-Mall…my old hangout in the nineties…I was at the wrong place!
Once home, Ross guided me to write. He asked me some questions. I was a little ‘scattered’. He was patient with me.
I found myself looking at photos of Maui, when Anthony was three. It was an anesthesia conference at the Hyatt in January 2009, at a luau. We are both smiling and wearing leis.
Ross had me look at her, the ‘me’ from the past. He asked me ‘do you still have that shirt?’.
It was before dad went on palliative care, and died.
It was before I changed hospital jobs.
It was before Reiki.
I had no clue about Ross or me, who my soul is.
I was surrounded by fear and sorrow.
I recalled how in September I met Tim Braun, and although I had found work, I was at an all-time low, because I was psychic and didn’t understand why God made me ‘different’.
Ross asked me to compare where I am ‘now’.
It’s so much better!
He asked me ‘was it worth it?’ (the change).
I said yes.
In the morning I had run into an old surgical technician from my old work, at the little cafe at this work. He said it had gotten so bad there that although he is a traveler nurse now, on his assignment there for one week he quit! He said it’s ‘all run down’. The equipment–you can’t get what you need–and the place is literally falling apart.
I gave thanks. Ross asked me what would have happened if I had stayed at that place?
We both knew the answer to his question.
He explained to me how good it is for me to explore and see new places; this is why he wants me to move. It’s good for me. When we stay in one place for too long, it stagnates the energy.
He then asked, ‘where will you go next?’
My soul surprised me–it said, ‘Shasta’.
I asked him, ‘That’s in Siskiyou county, right?’
He nodded yes.
So I looked online. I had remembered delight in that area as a child. It was so fresh and pure!
The homes were very inexpensive. In the winter they get snow…that would be something new for me in my retirement (I could retire if I moved there).
Then I saw that the views weren’t so great. And also, it’s super accelerating crime rates in nearby Redding.
It is the exercise of walking through the steps of a dream that was freeing and important exercise to do…
Heaven at Home
I hadn’t seen Anthony for two days. I dropped him off last Wednesday morning at school. And he spent the night with his dad while I was on call.
He asked me to play Uno. I had just cleared and decluttered the kitchen a little. So we relaxed and played and laughed so hard.
Ross asked me, ‘how is my family’ with love. I said, telepathically–for this is how we communicate–‘we are having fun!’ but I didn’t mention anything out loud.
Then, he said something to Anthony! And Anthony hadn’t heard him for some time, but Ross was going, ‘hey hey hey!’ in a friendly voice.
We were so relaxed that Anthony shared he had the song by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman in his mind all day, the ‘Time To Say Goodbye’ song.
So we changed it. We sang it while playing Uno: Time To….Pick Up Cards…la la la la la…la la la la…
Moments like this ARE like Heaven.
Follow Your Soul
I never had a mentor who was incarnate.
I had a Reiki Teacher, and also, a Divine Peace Healing Teacher, and some advanced students to guide me through the classes and steps.
But the only one-on-one mentor I have had is Blessed Mother Mary in all of my spiritual growth.
I have my guardian angel too, Laetari, who I know now as Ross, my Beloved husband and twin.
I have done incredible things on my journey, all of which are recorded in this blog.
It’s my ‘guide map to Ascension’–my own story, for you to share.
Spirit guides me in everything I do, everything I say, everything I post, every interaction I have with anything or anybody. I am ALWAYS getting this ‘input’ from Source…
I am happy to be of assistance to those who are seeking spiritual guidance, both directly and indirectly.
You will know it is your ‘calling’ , your ‘purpose’, your ‘life contract thing you incarnated to do’–when you have this passion to follow whatever it is your soul is guiding you to do (in my case, teach and write).
I don’t know what that is, for you. I can’t see it with my third eye. I can ‘sense’ when energetically you are a ‘good fit’ with your energy. A little. I can’t see the Akashic Records or the Pre Birth Contracts.
I am extremely careful with people who think I am ‘wonderful’. Who think I am in some way ‘the answer’ —people who put me up on a pedestal. This is one lesson my teacher Anne taught well…because it’s not healthy for either person in the situation. And the only place for the person on the pedestal to go is to fall.
Just like Anne, I will gently and consistently direct you back to Source, in Love, which is how it is supposed to be, and step right down off of any ‘pedestal’ you wish to create for me.
I will always be there for you, I will always love you.
Remember that this is Now (if we have a past life connection).
Remember that you have a purpose and will find it, when it is organically the ‘right’ place and ‘right’ time for you in your own spiritual growth. It can’t be rushed.
If I sense you are on the right track, which many times I do, I won’t say a word. I will gently encourage you with my soul and my love and pray for blessings to surround you.
I will never say, ‘Okay first step is THIS and next THAT and check back with me’.
If you are on the wrong track, the only thing different is I might ask a question to help you to find your way.
If you are on the WAY wrong track, Ross and I will still love you unconditionally. And we will pray for your lessons to play out, and for you to come home, and stop going in the direction of more painful lessons for you.
This is not one but a handful of people we have seen in all kinds of situations–who come to us (by writing to me)….
I want to make it clear that we are high-level teachers in the sense we work with the energies and the collectives ‘a little more’, and the individuals ‘a little less’–because it is in our ‘assignment’ we have been sent to ‘do’.
I hope this makes sense.
Aloha and Mahalos, Namaste…
I wanted the Shangi-La sign image for MY part. (he giggles–ed–I sense he enjoys teasing me very much).
(hands folded in front of him–ed) All is well.
All is well!
ALL IS WELL!!!
Everything is proceeding according to plan.
(raises one finger–ed) I have to correct Cobra on some minor points:
- the fairies are not ‘just entering’ they have always been on Gaia surface and the astral and etheric planes.
- everything is ‘safe’ and has been under my control for a long time (mine and my teams)
- there is a gentle ‘awakening’ that is happening. We are taking the ‘scenic route’ (slow)
- all those predictions about money and power have a double-edge and as ‘predictions’ are trying to prolong what is third-dimensional in energy and thought.
- the MORE you feel that happiness in your heart, that calm, that JOY, that PEACE–the more you will know you are already in the finer vibrations of the ‘higher realms’ as we call it.
- You will also find things humorous the perhaps in the past you didn’t–for example, while looking up Shasta, Carla was asking me where the entrance to Agartha is? And we both knew full well I WASN’T going to show her, and we totally cracked up.